in Living 505 Words

Suddenly Everything

At the start of Spring, I greet every new flower like an old friend, glad to welcome them back after the long winter, they emerge one by one at first, then suddenly everything springs back to life at once filling our garden with flowers, greenery and wildlife.

This year has been a bit of a whirl so far. I returned to work in January, but almost immediately regretted it and started looking for another job. After a flurry of applications through February and interviews in March, I’m starting a new job this month. It’s a big shift as I’ve been with the same employer for eight years (give or take a year or two on maternity leave), by far the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place, but I was starting to feel a bit stuck and I’m hoping that this will be a fresh start.

At the grand old age of 40, I’ve also been diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which explains a lifetime of chronic distraction, forgetfulness, disorganisation, procrastination, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, fidgeting and even sleeping problems that have effected me for as long as I can remember. I’m part of a so called lost generation of daydreamers, chatterboxes and fidgets who were missed because we didn’t fit the stereotype of disruptive, hyperactive children at school. I’ve known something was wrong since I started working 20 years ago, I’m still learning about ADHD but it’s a relief to know there’s support and treatment options. As my husband’s also an ADHDer, it means our daughters have a greater chance of having it than not, but hopefully they will have access to support we missed out on if they need it.

Speaking of whom, our kids are keeping us busy. Our 4 year old has always been little miss independent, and our youngest is trying hard to keep up with her big sister (with all the bumps and bruises to prove it). Our house is usually filled with shrieks of giggles as they chase each other around and wrestle on the floor, with only the odd squabble to sort out. We’ve been enjoying lots of puddle walks in the rain lately, playing in the park, trips to the beach and games in the garden, our weekends have been full of birthday parties, and we’re all looking forward to our summer holiday soon.

Our lovely old cat, Mara, is well enough, though starting to look her age with bald patches over her eyes. She spends most of her day snoozing in a variety of beds scattered around the house, but she’s still full of cuddles and sprightly enough to chase the red dot and feathery wands when she feels like it.

Very much hoping things will settle and slow down in the second half of the year, but as always when life feels busy or overwhelming, I’m steadying myself by counting my blessings and focusing on the people and things that always bring me comfort and joy, my little family, our garden, and nature.

Have a lovely week. X

12 thoughts on “Suddenly Everything”

    1. Thanks, feeling more positive about my new job. I was sceptical at first but it’s such a relief to know why struggle with certain parts of life that others can just get on with. Hopefully going for coaching soon, still weighing up pros and cons of meds. X

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    1. The NHS waiting list here is very long so I went privately with a company my husband recommended (he works in MH) called Clininal Partners, the psychiatrist was kind and very thorough, I’m confident NHS will accept his assessment. It makes me feel a lot better knowing I’m not just lazy, easily bored and emotional, and to know I can access support. X

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  4. congratulations on your new job. I too was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. As you say, it explains a lot. Like you, I was never the typical hyperactive child, and the more obvious characteristics have got worse for me as I’ve got older, to the point where a diagnosis became essential for work purposes, e.g. working from home when I need to concentrate and work to a deadline.

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  5. What a beautiful family you have there… And never a dull moment either I would think.. I Hope your new job turned out okay, and it is a relief to finally get a diagnosis and put a name to symptoms… I know how that feels… As it took a few years for me to get a diagnosis for Fibromyalgia Syndrome. At one point Chronic. Lets hope your daughters will be fine..

    Love the Spring flowers I was drawn to, and yes, everything seems to suddenly burst into flower out of nothing when Spring arrives…
    Love the Bluebell woods, we have one near by, and I love visiting when in flower..
    Many thanks for your lovely visit to Dreamwalker’s Garden… My logo will lead you to my main blog.. Its easier to use just one logo on both my blogs.. The other being Dreamwalker’s Sanctuary..
    Thank you kindly for your follow xx ❤

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    1. Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comment, always lovely to find another kindred spirit. Sometimes just knowing what’s causing all the symptoms is such a relief rather than wondering what’s wrong. Will have a look at your other site, looking forward to reading more. 😊 Xx

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      1. Exactly, I was so frustrated at one point being told it was my age. As it started when I was mid 40s . I went countless times and was given anti-inflammatory drugs, which caused gut problems. So I stopped those.
        It wasn’t until another Dr sat in with my regular Dr that she sent me to the hospital giving a name to my symptoms.

        I then went on a programme provided by the NHS called The Expert Patience Programme where a group of those of us with chronic illness of various types met once a week. And they put me in touch with the FMS association. Who had practical solutions to help manage pain and fatigue.

        Long story short, I did self-help therapy, alternative healing, and even past life regression. Now I’m 100% better, for in my mid-40s, I was using the aid of a stick.
        Now I garden, walk 25 yrs later. I still have tired days but nothing like before with chronic pain, etc.

        So, I know it’s hard to get doctors to recognise symptoms. What they often can’t fathom, they say its all in our heads . Which only adds to the stress.

        I look forward to you dropping into my Dreamwalkers Sanctuary when you have the time.
        Much love xx Enjoy the sunshine 🌞 we get on our rare days here in England .

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