Author: lovelyandgrateful

Urban gardener, mood reader, parent from Scotland surviving on coffee and catnaps

January reading wrapup

My reading year is off to a good start as I read six books in January, which were a mix of current interests and easy, escapist reads.

The Girl Who Speaks Bear by Sophie Anderson

An enchanting story of family curses, the power of stories, found families and self-acceptance. Yanka, bigger and stronger, than other people in the village, struggles to fit in and wonders about her identity, she runs away to find out who she really is, chasing the fairy tales she heard through her childhood. This is a wonderful tale of identity, found family, friendship, self-acceptance and the difference between fitting in and belonging.

Mornings with My Cat Mii by Mayumi Inaba

The first of two books I picked for #januaryinjapan on bookstagram, I was a bit apprehensive about reading this memoir of life with a beloved cat so soon after losing my own beloved cat, but it was a gentle book that actually reminded me of all the cats I’ve loved and cared for through my life. It particularly captutes the unique routines we fall into with our pets, the responsibility that pet ownership involves and the heartache of caring for aging pets.

The Electricity of Every Living Thing by Katherine May

Part walking journal and part neurodiversity memoir, the descriptions of walking the South Coast were wasted on me, but this was such an interesting and relatable autobiography of a woman who didn’t learn that she was autistic until her 40s and reviewing the impact it has had on her education, career, friendships, marriage and motherhood. This had a lot that I could also relate to, having only been diagnosed as an ADHDer last year at the age of 40, especially the mental health issues and misdiagnosis, social difficulties and masking in order to fit in, sensory overwhelm and the reasons for seeking late diagnosis. A very personal but relatable and affirming read.

The Dagger and the Flame by Catherine Doyle

Given that I enjoy fantasy with a strong romantic subplot, I’ve been underwhelmed by the romantasy subgenre. The Dagger and the Flame is an enemies to lovers story following Seraphine of the Thieves guild who is seeking vengeance for her mother’s murder, and Ransom, a member of the assassins guild assigned to eliminate her. I much preferred Seraphine’s personal quest and there’s some thrilling action scenes, but the romance between the leads left me cold, though the ending sets itself up perfectly for a sequel.

The Book of Disappearance by Ibtisam Azem

A short but thought provoking novel about what would happen in Israel if all the Palestinians disappeared without a trace overnight. Written in dual perspective of an Israeli Arab and a liberal zionist, it really delves into the contradictions of Israeli society such as a secular nation that claims divine right to the land, racism and colonialism, the awkward juxtaposition of old Jaffa and new Tel Aviv, and the atmosphere of fear, distrust and misunderstanding that exists between the two nations inhabiting the same land.

The Full Moon Coffee Shop by Mai Mochizuki

This was a short, sweet and surreal story about a cafe run by talking cats that help customers identify parts of their life they want to change with astrology. The Full Moon Coffee Shop was a bit of a mixed bag because I felt it went into unnecessary detail about the character’s astrological birth charts at certain points, but I enjoyed seeing the characters grow in self-understanding and self-compassion, and starting to pursue their hopes and dreams.

Have a lovely week. X

Gardening through the bleak midwinter…

January is often a quiet time for us, settling back into our routines and slowing down after all the excitement and excess of Christmas.

There isn’t much growing in the garden at this time of year, but there are still lots of little jobs and tidying up to do. There’s a silver birch and Concorde pear tree waiting to be planted where the bamboo used to be. While the bamboo was a bit of a deadzone for wildlife, I’m hoping the birds and insects will appreciate more native trees and shrubs.

One of the other big changes is the double swing my husband built for our daughters, which they absolutely love and has proven to be reassuringly sturdy so far. In the winter months, we often feel cooped up so swings and the slide give us something to do in the garden when it’s too cold or wet to go the park.

My husband also built a compost box out of pallets and wood leftover from other projects, and we’ve already starting putting our tree clippings, cardboard, fruit and vegetable peel in there to rot down and turn back into nutritious soil.

We spent a couple of hours pottering around in the garden last week, and it was so peaceful without any of the pressure I often feel during summer. Then at the weekend, everything shut down when Storm Eowyn arrived, and we spent a whole day inside watching the storm rage outside and trying to keep two small kids entertained without any of our usual activities. The wind smashed a few panes of glass in our green house, but we were extremely lucky that we didn’t lose any tiles from our roof or fence panels.

As always, very grateful for our little patch, and so looking forward to spring. Have a lovely week. X

December and End of Year Reading Wrapup! 📚

What with Christmas preparations and celebrations, December is typically one of my worst months for reading. I only read three books, but enjoyed them all.

The House of Frost and Feathers by Lauren Wiseborn

A delightful and enchanting story of a young woman trying to escape the sleeping plague that left her parents and so many other victims in a sanatorium, who finds employment as an assistant to the witches who live and travel around in a house with chicken legs. This had a few pacing issues near the start but had me gripped to the end with lots of mystery, twists and betrayals and a slow burn romance (or two!). A wonderful fantasy story to curl up with on these long, dark winter nights. Thanks to Netgalley and Hodder and Stoughton for the advanced copy. The House of Frost and Feathers is out on 16th January 2025.

Wild by Cheryl Strayed

A powerful memoir of grief, hiking, vulnerability and courage, determination and resilience. When Cheryl Strayed’s mother died suddenly from cancer and her own marriage broke down, she decided to walk the Pacific Crest Trail, 2663 miles running from the Mexican border, through California and Oregon to Canada. This isn’t the sort of book I normally read, but was absolutely captivated by this story of endurance and self discovery.

The Ice Children by M.G. Leonard

On the first day of December, Bianca finds her little brother has been frozen in ice, and every day after more children join him. Bianca takes it upon herself to investigate and save her brother, embarking on an adventure that will take her to the heart of winter itself. This was such a surprising story that started off as a fairly familiar quest to rescue a missing child that reminded me of The Snow Queen and Northern Lights in places but became a totally original story about climate change and the power of stories to inspire us to action, and to imbue children with a sense of love and hope rather than fear and despair about the world they inherit.

2024 in Books

In 2024, I read a total of 58 books. I read 34 fiction books across a range of different genres from children’s and YA to fantasy, dystopia and magical realism, as well as mysteries and romance. I read 24 non-fiction books across a similarly eclectic choice of subjects from neurodiversity, memoirs, Palestine and environmentalism.

My Top 10 favourites were fairly reflective of my reading this year with several themes overlapping and crossing genres, such as environmental issues, Palestine, community, and witchcraft which is one of my favourite fictional subgenres. Unusually for me, four of my ten favourites this year were non-fiction and three were audiobooks.

This was the year I switched from audible to LibroFM and really got enjoyed listening to non-fiction audiobooks, listening to eight on my commute to work.

I joined Netgalley back in 2020, but 2024 was the year when I finally started to pick a few ARCs to read and review, and I improved my ratio from 0% to 53%, which I’m pretty chuffed with.

I’m a big advocate of public libraries and 21 of the 58 books I read last year were borrowed from the library. Aside from supporting a valuable public service, I saved myself £265 borrowing books instead of buying them.

What were your favourite reads in 2024?

New Year, Same Old Me

The crossover from one year into another was gentle in our house, the kids slept right through while my husband and I started rewatching the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings (and we drew the trilogy out over the next few evenings). 2024 left me feeling a bit bruised and tender, and I wasn’t feeling celebratory on New Year’s Eve, so we saved our champagne for the evening of New Year’s Day instead.

While others are making resolutions, setting fitness goals and planning holidays, I find myself craving peace and rest after a turbulent year.

I returned to work last January after a year off on maternity leave and immediately regretted it because so many people had moved on that it was like joining a different team. I started a new job in June but it’s felt like jumping out of frying pan into the fire as it’s much busier and less specialised than I’d hoped, and certainly not the change of career I’m seeking. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring, and while it explained so many struggles I’ve had through life, it also brought a wave of fresh self doubt and regrets as well. Finally, in November, we lost our lovely cat Mara, after nine years of her companionship, and I have been struggling with grief and guilt ever since. It’s by no means the worst year I’ve endured, but it’s taken a toll on me nevertheless.

The highlights of 2024 were mostly moments with our family such as our summer holiday, visiting the Enchanted Forest and other daytrips, and just the joy and wonder of seeing our daughters grow. Our oldest turned four in February, she is so bright and confident, and she’s all set to start school in August 2025, which is as exciting as it is nerve-wracking, and will be a big adjustment for us all. Our youngest turned two in November and has become such a little chatterbox, already full of opinions, and ever eager to keep up with her big sister.

It rained all morning on New Year’s Day, but cleared up in the afternoon so we braved a wrapped up trip to Lunderston Bay for our traditional beach walk. I’ve been feeling a bit maudlin lately, and a walk on the beach was such a balm for my weary heart.

I waded into the water in my wellies, which is as close to a dash and a dook as I’ve ever gotten, but there were some other braver folk who went for a dip. As we were beach combing for shells, the sun broke through the clouds and cast a golden glow over snowy mountains in the distance, the shimmering water and the sandy shore, reminding me how grateful I am to live in such a beautiful country, and how lovely winter here can be.

We’ve filled the first few days of 2025 with play dates with our daughters’ cousins and nursery friends, swimming at the local pool and a final visit to the Winterfest to ride the carousel and Santa’s train (the helter skelter was closed due to ice!). It’s been a bit of a blur, but I’m grateful for so many of these moments of joy, laughter and connection, and hope 2025 will be full of more. It’s back to work and nursery tomorrow, but wishing everyone a belated happy New Year. X

Romjul Reflections

Finding some time after an extremely busy festive week to relax and reflect on December.

Through December, we enjoyed our oldest daughter’s nativity at nursery, and a family trip to Blair Drummond where we saw sea lions, rhinos and finally saw the two beautiful tigers. We also took the kids on the fair rides at Blair Drummond and the Christmas Market in Glasgow, with our little thrill seekers thoroughly enjoying the spinning cups, Helter Skelter, carousel and mini roller coasters. 

I ended up working late on Christmas Eve due to a last minute crisis, arriving home as everyone else was finishing dinner, but just in time to put our two excited girls to bed. Before a last minute gift wrapping session, filling stockings and sorting presents into piles.

Our daughters woke up at 5.30am (as usual) and were remarkably patient as we let them watch cartoons in bed before letting them check if Santa had been and giving them their stockings to open before they woke up their grandparents and tore into the rest of their gifts.

My husband outdid himself with Christmas dinner this year, in addition to our usual Quorn roast and sage and onion stuffing, he also made a butternut squash and chestnut wellington and Yorkshire puddings (apparently a controversial choice).

After lunch, we took the kids to the park, before heading home to watch Julia Donaldson’s Tiddler and try out more of the kids’ toys and games. Gymnastics equipment, train sets and games like Pop Up Pirate have been big hits with our daughters this Christmas.

We’re still missing our little Mara so much; Christmas isn’t the same without her, she always loved the festivities from playing with tinsel and hunting for spiders in the tree to getting stuck into her stocking for new toys and treats. 

Now that our extended family have gone home, I’m glad we have some time off together just the four of us to settle back into our routines and find some calm after all the excitement.

Wishing everyone all the joy and peace of the season. X

November Reading wrapup

November was a tough month as I struggled with work stress, caring for sickly kids and finally the death of our beloved cat, and I found myself seeking out comfort reads.

The Little Christmas Library by David M. Barnett

I was drawn to this by the combination of a local mobile library (such a fond throwback to my childhood) and the father-daughter dynamic. I found it a bit too heavy handed and clichéd about Northern England, however, this turned out to be a heartwarming story about a little community that finds friendship and romance in the mobile library that serves the run down town of Merry-le-Moors. It works better as a small town drama than a festive romance, but still an easy and enjoyable read about community and the magic of libraries.

Saving Us by Katharine Hayhoe

I’ve subscribed to Katharine Hayhoe’s newsletter for a while for updates about climate news, and decided I’d prefer to listen to Saving Us on audio because she’s such an engaging speaker. Saving Us is about how to talk to people about the climate crisis, and find common interests and connection, rather than devision and conflict. Hayhoe breaks down science in an informative and entertaining way, easily debunking common climate denial arguments, but also finding ways to connect things (nature, chocolate and sports) we care about to climate change. I found this to be an informative, pragmatic and hopeful book about climate change and what we can do about it.

Anne of Avonlea by L. M. Montgomery

I had read Anne of Green Gables a few years ago and recently found a complete set second hand. The second part of Anne Shirley’s story starts when she is 17 and starting work as a teacher at the Avonlea school she recently graduated from. Anne is such a lovable character with her boundless imagination and optimism, matched perhaps only by her propensity for embarrassing mishaps. It was lovely to return to Prince Edward Island and meet up with all the inhabitants of Avonlea again.

A Midwinter’s Tail by Lili Hayward

This book will always hold a place in my heart as the last book I read with my lovely Mara cat before she passed away, and it was such a moving and gentle story. Mina is living and working in London when she receives a cryptic message from her estranged godfather asking her to look after his cat. Mina drops everything and returns to an island off the Cornish coast to care for the cat, Murr, and begins to unpack questions about her childhood, her family and identity, and finds herself joining up with the local community to save the island from developers who want to turn it into a luxury resort. The writing itself was lyrical with beautiful descriptions. A Midwinter’s Tail was such a poignant, comfort read that had so many themes that I appreciate.

Soul Comfort for Cat Lovers by Liz Eastwood

This is a short and simple book for those grieving the loss of a beloved cat, as most books about pet grief tend to focus on dogs. Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed that there wasn’t a more original or meaningful daily ritual than lighting a candle to remember your pet and that the writer didn’t go into more detail on the rise of pet mediums. This is a gentle book about grief that captures the place our pets hold in our hearts and validates the grief experience, but was lacking some of the practical steps I was hoping for to help cope with grief itself.

Have a lovely week. X

Sleep well, sweet Mara 🐾

This is a post I’ve been dreading writing for some time, but on Monday 25th November, our lovely cat Mara passed away.

It all happened so quickly that I’m still in shock. A couple of weeks ago, I’d been worried about Mara’s teeth as she’d started to become a noisy, messy and picky eater, all very out of character for our little snaffler. Unfortunately, the vet diagnosed squamous cell carcinoma, an incurable and terminal cancer of the mouth. We agreed to try pain management but even so, Mara went downhill quickly, stopped grooming and struggling to eat anything except soup.

Mara’s last few days

On the morning of Monday 25th November, we called the vet to arrange having her put to sleep, because we couldn’t stand watching her waste away and prolonging her suffering. We let the kids say their goodbyes and I took Mara to the vet, while my husband took the kids to the park. I stayed with Mara to the end, who true to form was headbooping me and purring until the sedative took effect. She slipped away peacefully without a twitch or whisper, it was so peaceful for her but heartbreaking for me.

I’ve been in a fog of grief ever since, our home feels unbearably empty without her, and all our routines seem off-kilter.

Our four year old daughter has taken it well, there have been some tears but I helped her write a letter to Mara about all her favourite memories to help her remember but it is hard when she says she wishes we could visit Mara. (Same, kid.) It’s been harder to explain to our two year old who keeps asking “where’s Mara?” and looking for her around the house. We’ve spent a lot time huddled round phones looking at photos and videos of Mara. Mara was such a big character in our family that it’s hard to imagine our story continuing without her.

It’s impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t let an animal into their heart, just how much love and joy they bring to our lives and how much sorrow we feel when they pass. Mara was a resilient character who overcame more than her fair share of adversity from losing her previous owner (that led us to adopting her) and the amputation of her tail when we found a mast cell tumour on it. Mara was very much a family cat, whether stretched out on my lap or rolling on her back to let the kids tickle her tummy, she actively sought us out, and she had an enormous capacity to give and recieve affection.

I can’t think of a stress that couldn’t be soothed or a hurt that couldn’t be healed by some time snuggling with Mara. For nine years, Mara has been one of the things I’ve been most grateful for, and my world feels like a worse place without her. Yet, deep down I know she was a happy cat, we gave her a good life, and it was the kindest thing to let her go.

Sleep well, my sweet Mara. You’re part of our family and home forever. Xx

October Reading Wrapup

November has been such a busy and turbulent month that reading and blogging have been on the back burner and I’m only just finding time to share my October reading wrapup midway through the month.

Not the End of the World by Hannah Ritchie 🎧

This book really requires the reader to keep an open mind as it challenges many of the preconceptions people worried about climate change hold. Having said that, I wholeheartedly agree with the central premise of the book that despair is as dangerous as denial when it comes to climate action, and that we have to remain hopeful that we can mitigate the worst effects of climate breakdown and adapt. Hannah Ritchie refutes most of the clickbait headlines by zooming out and taking a wider look at progress and trends over longer time frames. She also promotes focusing our efforts on a few actions that will have the greatest impact rather than stressing about lots of things that won’t actually make much difference. I found it a bit contradictory in places, and I still believe that individual actions pale in comparison to tackling corporate and industry emissions but this is an informative, pragmatic and hopeful book that counters climate doomism.

The Witches of New York by Ami McKay

I often feel a bit apprehensive about books that are over 500 pages, and I found this one had a very slow start as the story didn’t really grip me until 300 pages in. The story follows three witches, Eleanor and Adelaide, who run a tea shop in New York and their new apprentice, Beatrice who is only just discovering her powers. This was a bit reminiscent of the Practical Magic series, but set in the late 1800s, as the women navigate personal traumas, grudges and persecution. Overall I enjoyed this and loved the strong sense of female friendship and camaraderie throughout, but it was let down by pacing issues, and although the main storyline wraps up neatly, there’s a few subplots left open for a potential sequel.

The Secret of Nightingale Wood by Lucy Strange

Having thoroughly enjoyed, The Island at the Edge of Night, I was eager to read more of Lucy Stranger’s backlist and picked up her first book from the library. The Secret of Nightingale Wood is narrated by 12 year old Henrietta as her family move from London to Hope House in the countryside following the tragic death of her older brother. Henrietta is a plucky heroine who has to overcome her own fears, grief and survivor’s guilt in order to save her family from the scheming husband and wife villains who intend to use the family to further their own ambitions. It’s a tense, poignant children’s adventure from a writer who brilliantly captures the fears and feelings of helplessness of childhood.

Weyward by Emilia Hart

A powerful tale of three desperate women from the same line moving from fearful victims of male lust, spite and violence to survivors. The story follows three women from the Weyward family from Althea accused of witchcraft in the 17th century, to Violet a rebellious and determined young woman straining at the shackles her father and society have bound her in, and Kate in the present day fleeing an abusive relationship. This is very much a story about female choice and agency, but one that is often bittersweet as the three central characters have to make difficult choices based on circumstances beyond their control. I was completely hooked by this and adored it from start to finish.

Cackle by Rachel Harrison

What a strange and surprising but thoroughly enjoyable story this turned out to be about love, heartbreak, friendship, trust, fear, and spiders. Cackle follows Annie Crane, recently hearybroken and scared of dying alone as she moves from New York to the little town of Rowan and immediately falls under the spell of her new friend, the mysterious and charismatic Sophie. Cackle seemed like it was going to be light-hearted romance, but it was such a delightful novel about female empowerment with some unexpectedly unsettling moments and atmosphere.

The Invocations by Krystal Sutherland

This seemed like a cross between two of my favourites, Ninth House with all  occult elements and a female version of The Raven Boys as three teenage misfits band together to stop a serial killer hunting women. The plot follows Emer, a curse writer (or witch) who helps women willing to exchange part of their soul for magic; Jude, an exiled, filthy rich socialite looking for a witch to help her break a a curse; and Zara, a grieving woman investigating the murder of her sister. I devoured this supernatural murder mystery full of twists with a slow burn saphic romance in a couple of evenings, though I found it more gory than spooky, but the final section was particularly cinematic.

Have a lovely week. X

All aglow for Halloween 🎃

We ended October with our second light show, Glasglow at the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow. Glasglow has been hit and miss in previous years, but we all really enjoyed it this time around. The kids are also at an age to appreciate these kinds of events, especially with the treat of toasted marshmallows (which appears to be a staple at outdoor events now) and chips for supper.

Taking place around Halloween often means the theme has a few spooky sections, but there were only a couple of parts with clowns and skeletons that were a bit too scary for kids (and big kids like myself).

Elsewhere there were smoke-filled bubbles to pop, strings of lights changing colour in time to the music to walk through, a graveyard full of amusing epitaphs, and a walkway over the field of light, and of course, Kibble Palace itself to list our favourite parts. Just like last year, the designers had filled Kibble palace, a 19th Century glasshouse home to the national fern collection with lasers, it is a genuinely original way of using the space that delighted the kids and I’ve never seen anything like it at any other light show we’ve visited.

Back at home, I carved pumpkins for the girls’ nursery Halloween party. Our 4 year old asked for a ballerina, and our nearly two year old wanted a hedgehog, which ended up winning a prize.

It gets dark early in the autumn and winter months here in Scotland, and I really appreciate these evening events that give us a reason to wrap up and get outside for a few hours. October has been such a busy but lovely month, and Glasglow was such a fun night to round it off with. Have a lovely week. X

More Autumn Adventures 🍂

It feels like time is slipping through my fingers, this has been such a hectic year and we’re well into autumn and the ember months. The weather has cooled and the evenings are growing darker, the leaves have turned into a gorgeous array of gold, amber and scarlet, and every breeze causes a flutter of them to fall.

We had a really fun day trip to Dalkeith Country Park in Midlothian where the kids enjoyed exploring the adventure playpark and Fort Douglas with its all it’s climbing frames, bridges and slides, as well as the bouncy pillows and flying foxes. It’s a bit of a jaunt for us, but always lots of fun and great value.

We’ve been out foraging for chestnuts or conkers at our local parks, and collecting seeds, flowers and leaves for sticky pictures. We also enjoyed the loveliest walk through the woods at Rouken Glen with the kids filling their baskets with the most colourful leaves, pine cones, moss covered bark and branches covered in lichen that they could find for a little show and tell nature project at nursery.

My husband and I even managed a day out by ourselves on a bank holiday Monday at the end of September. After dropping the girls off at nursery, we drove out to Callendar for lunch, a wee browse around the Nutcracker Christmas shop and a walk up to Bracklinn Falls. The waterfall itself is actually quite hard to see from the path, and best viewed from the rocks in front of it, which are sturdy but can be a bit slippery when wet. It’s been about a decade since we last visited the falls, and was really lovely to rediscover it again after so long.

I really love living in a part of the world with such distinct seasons, and autumn is particularly lovely in Scotland. Have a lovely week. X