Review of ‘Big Magic’ by Elizabeth Gilbert

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By the time February arrives, my sense of winter wonder has usually waned and all the optimism and enthusiasm I felt about the new year has faded as I hit the winter doldrums, which makes it seem like the ideal time to read a book about overcoming blocks and kick-starting creativity.

Big Magic is not a how-to-write book, instead Elizabeth Gilbert takes a more holistic view of creativity that stretches from writing to ice-skating and everything in between. Autobiographical in places, Elizabeth is passionate about creativity and eager to share her knowledge and experience to inspire others.

I could relate to many of the anxieties and blocks that inhibit creativity covered in this book, some of which were the same reasons I delayed starting my blog for so long after conceiving the idea in January last year. Big Magic is full of advice and encouragement on how to overcome the self-doubt and fears in your mind, as well as the disparaging voices of everyone else who tries to dissuade you from living creatively.

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I really admire Elizabeth’s dedication to writing and her gritty determination to keep writing no matter what, both as a relatively unknown novelist before the success of Eat Pray Love and afterwards when the weight of public expectation was at its greatest. Elizabeth believes it’s a privilege to be able to earn a living from her creativity, yet it’s clear that she’s not doing it for the money or fame but simply because she loves to write.

Like many before her, she asserts that practice and habit are more faithful companions to creativity than inspiration. She debunks the myth of the tortured, struggling artist as dangerous, and I found her belief that ideas are alive in the air and searching for people to bring them to fruition delightful.

Big Magic is a humorous, honest and inspiring book that I’d recommend to anyone who would like to overcome the blocks holding them back and embrace their creativity, and it’s a book that I’ll reread at times when I need to reignite my own creativity.

Home Sweet Home

We recently moved into our new house and the last few weeks have been spent repainting, unpacking, exploring the local area and making sure our cat Mara is settling in.

(Surprise snowdrops in the garden, and Mara making herself at home)

My husband and I rented together for three and a half years but longed for a house and garden of our own. For many people in the U.K., home ownership represents security and an escape from the competitive rental market. We’ve been lucky that our landlords were decent, we’ve never had our rents increased or tenancy terminated at short notice like some of our friends, but we’ve had our fair share of maintenance issues from damp in the bathroom to mice in the kitchen and a broken boiler that left us without heating or hot water in the middle of winter.

We started looking for a house in winter because the housing market seems to slow down around Christmas, and we thought it might be harder to hide leaks, damp and drafts in the colder months of the year. We spent hours scrolling through estate agent sites, comparing floor plans, analyzing street maps and studying what often turned out to be misleading photos before we even started arranging viewings.

Eventually we chose the house we could imagine ourselves living in, which happened to be the first house we viewed and the yardstick against which we measured the others. It was a cold, rainy Saturday in November when we first visited it, yet this particular house still seemed light and cosy to us.

We worried about outgrowing the house before we owned enough furniture to fill one room. We were anxious about the stress moving would cause our house-cat. We brooded over repossession and negative equity. We worried until we ran out of things to worry about, yet both my husband and I are decisive by nature, and twenty four hours after visiting the house, we made an offer.

We had a few restless nights waiting to find out if the owners would accept our offer, then waiting for the building society to approve our mortgage, and the conveyancing caused everyone involved considerable stress as the solicitors wrangled over reports, fees and deadlines. Fortunately, it all proceeded smoothly and was finalised on the 21^st of December, making our new house seem like an early Christmas present.

(The keys to our new home, and a little gift from the previous owners)

We’re relieved by how quickly Mara has settled into our new home; she can be very timid, but we tried to make the move as smooth as possible for her by making sure there were lots of familiar furniture, rugs and blankets, as well as all of her own toys and things.

I was sad to say goodbye to the home we rented for three years and seven months, but I’m so grateful for the shelter it provided, all the memories made and lessons learned there. My sadness is softened by excitement about our new house though, it is ready to live in but will be a bit of a project to make our own as the previous owners favoured dark colour schemes and added some odd features. Yet even with boxes to unpack, walls to repaint and mismatched furniture, it already feels like home sweet home. Have a lovely week.

A Safe Haven

We are in the middle of moving, and as we pack up our belongings, I know I will miss this place. The little home my husband and I rented for three years and seven months was our first home together and the setting of so many memories and milestones in our relationship. It seems to me that a home is whatever you make it: it could be a battleground, a dumping ground or a safe haven. Our home has been all of these at different stages of our relationship.

Our home was a battleground as we clashed over money, housework and competing priorities when we first moved in together. Although we have resolved most of those early conflicts, whenever we have something contentious to discuss now, we find a neutral space like a café or a park, and the discussion ends before we step through our front door.

We used to wipe our feet on the doormat, but tramped the day’s emotional dirt through our home. It became littered with the ghosts of all of our stresses, sorrows and frustrations. Now we understand that we don’t have to bring these issues inside, and our home can be a safe haven away from our troubles. As well as the emotional detritus, we treated it like a dump for our possessions. Our home was already furnished when we moved in, and once we’d squeezed our own things into it, the cupboards and drawers were bursting and there wasn’t a single clear surface to be found. It took us a little while to realise that we didn’t need more space but less stuff, and we have been gradually downsizing and decluttering over the last few months.

We’ve become more intentional about what we keep and what we buy now. When our electric kettle broke, we replaced it with a stove-top whistling kettle; it’s a little reminder to slow down in an impatient world. We also treated ourselves to a few house plants (after researching which plants wouldn’t poison our curious house-cat); I don’t know if they purify the air but having greenery around is calming.

It seems odd, but what I’ll miss most is the scratched, old dining table (featured in many photos on this blog), around which my husband and I shared meals, wrote our Christmas cards and wedding invitations, played board games with friends, and where I typed most of these posts. I suspect our landlords would let us have the dining table and chairs if we asked, yet I’m leaving them behind, because I’m keeping all the memories.

A roof over our heads and walls to shelter us is something many of us take for granted, but others are not so fortunate. Over the last three and a half years we have learned to protect our home from physical and emotional clutter in return for the safe haven it provides from storms of all kinds, and these are the lessons we’ll take with us wherever we live. Have a lovely week.

Review of ‘A Street Cat Named Bob’ by James Bowen

I saw the film of this at the cinema last year and was so moved by it that I read the book soon after. James Bowen was a busker and recovering heroin addict living in sheltered accommodation in London when he encountered an injured but friendly stray cat (whom he names Bob) that found its way into his block of flats. The two quickly become inseparable companions and the book follows all the highs and lows they share together, it is their loyalty and devotion to each other that drives the book forward.

James is living a hand to mouth existence for most of the book, but spends the little money he earns busking and selling the Big Issue magazine on cat food and vet’s bills. From the offset, James is a responsible pet-owner, taking Bob to the vet, getting him neutered and micro-chipped. Taking care of Bob gives James a purpose, and it seems like the simple routine of caring for the cat keeps him tethered to normality, and he is rewarded with Bob’s affection and trust.

Having adopted a rescue-cat of my own from the Scottish SPCA, I could relate to James’ speculation about Bob’s past, as he tries to understand the quirks and behaviour that might offer clues about Bob’s life before they became companions.

Throughout A Street Cat Named Bob, James shows humbling insight into how society regards homeless people and addicts, drawing attention to the deliberate blindness of passers-by and how it felt to be invisible. He also describes the vulnerability of working on the streets of London, trying to eke out a living from busking and selling the Big Issue, as well as the numerous barriers facing those trying to turn their lives around.

This is a rags-to-riches autobiography in a sense, yet this is a also a tale of recovery, second chances and above all the friendship that develops between a recovering addict and a stray cat.

Peaceful Midwinter Days

December passed in a merry blur as my husband and I squeezed too many catch ups with family and friends from near and far away into too few days around Christmas, along with trips to Christmas markets and the cinema to see A Street Cat Named Bob, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story.

fullsizerender-5 — *Christmas with Mara*

On Christmas Eve we drove to the little town where my parents live, singing along to Christmas songs on the radio, with our cat Mara curled up at my feet in the passenger footwell. There was no lie in for us on Christmas day as Mara woke us up bright and early demanding her breakfast; she’s a creature of routine and her body clock is unerring where feeding times are concerned.

Fortunately my family and in-laws only live a short car journey apart so we’re able to spend time with both sides on Christmas Day. We visited my husband’s family in the morning to exchange gifts and catch up over mugs of coffee, before returning to my family and Mara.

Christmas dinner has become a team effort in my family as we all do something to lighten the load of whoever is hosting it, whether it’s setting the table, preparing the starter or washing the dishes afterwards. As we gathered around the dining table, my grandmother insisted everyone wear the paper crowns from their crackers as we tucked into a three course Christmas dinner, while Mara circled like a shark under the table searching for scraps. Boxing Day was also spent surrounded by family, chatting and picking at leftovers.

It is always the cosy togetherness with family and friends that I look forward to and appreciate most during the festive season.

My husband and I started 2017 with a trip to Falkirk with a couple of good friends for a refreshing New Year’s Day walk around the Kelpies. It was a cold, clear evening, and I loved breathing in all the hope a new year promises in the chill air.

Back in our own home now, January tends to be a peaceful month, providing a much-appreciated lull after the busyness that precedes it. Life seems to slow down at this time of year as the world outside hibernates.

On the coldest, winter mornings, Mara crawls under the duvet and flops down on her side between us, purring like an engine and revelling in being warm and close to us. While the short days and long evenings provide the perfect excuse to stay cosy at home together, playing with Mara or letting her snooze across our laps while we read, write thank you cards and finish off the last of the cheese selection.

Taking down the Christmas decorations seemed more poignant than usual as we are moving soon, yet with change and upheaval on the horizon, I’m grateful for these peaceful midwinter days. Wishing everyone a happy New Year!

Christmas Magic

Every year as the days of December rush towards the 25th, I hear people fretting about how much money they’ve spent, how long they queued for this years must-have sold-out-everywhere gift, and how stressful hosting Christmas dinner is. Yet sitting peacefully at home suffused in the cosy glow of the twinkly lights and glinting baubles on our Christmas tree always reminds me to slow down and appreciate all the little moments that make this season so magical and meaningful.

Putting up the Christmas decorations and decorating the tree is one of my favourite festive traditions. Unwrapping the baubles we’ve collected over the years always brings back memories and each trinket seems to have its own story. The newest addition to our collection is a simple wooden piece I found while my husband and I were on holiday in New York earlier in the year. This year I also made some simple decorations by baking slices of orange, which brighten up the tree and add a touch of traditional style to it. The combination of citrus and fresh pine needles also gives our home a subtle and natural festive fragrance. Luckily, our cat Mara doesn’t try to climb the tree or bother the baubles, though she occasionally gives the lower branches an experimental nibble.

As TV shows and social networks fill up with images of happy families in festive jumpers, it seems like there are impossibly high expectations for Christmas. Yet the reality is that life doesn’t stop for Christmas: families bicker, couples separate and people get ill, just as they do at every other time of the year. Within my own family, over the years there have been two deaths in December and one in January, which always gives the season a bittersweet edge as I remember and miss those who are no longer here, while feeling so grateful and fortunate to have my loved ones around me at Christmastime.

I can’t buy Christmas magic, but sometimes I find it in the simplest moments: wrapping cold hands around warm mugs of Gluhwein at the Christmas market, catching up with friends around a crackling fire, snuggling up on the sofa with my husband and Mara to watch our favourite festive films (It’s a Wonderful Life, A Muppet’s Christmas Carol and While You Were Sleeping), and of course, gathering around the table with my family to savour a three course feast on Christmas Day itself.

Slowing down at Christmas makes all these cosy moments with the people I love most stand out clearer in my memory, like twinkling lights set against the darkest month of the year. Wishing everyone a peaceful and very happy Christmas!

Review of ‘The Gratitude Diaries’ by Janice Kaplan

The Gratitude Diaries starts at a party on New Year’s Eve when Janice Kaplan sets herself a resolution to try being more grateful for a year to see if it can improve her life and outlook.

Janice is a journalist, who has an apartment in Manhattan and a house in the country, happily married with kids, she has a lot to be grateful for, yet like many people she compares herself to others who have it better than her, struggles to look beyond the imperfections and takes what she has for granted.

I found it easy to relate to Janice throughout her gratitude experiment because she’s honest about how she had to retrain herself to be grateful instead of complaining, criticising and focusing on the negatives. Above all, Janice demonstrates that while gratitude, optimism and positivity may come more naturally to some people than others, gratitude is a habit that anyone can cultivate.

Janice also recognises that it’s easy to feel grateful when life is good, but gratitude is not a panacea shielding us from all of life’s disappointments, sorrows and frustrations instead gratitude is a way of steadying ourselves in the storms, setbacks and struggles by adjusting what we focus on.

The Gratitude Diaries is split into four parts, corresponding with the seasons of the year, where she concentrates on different areas of her life, including marriage and family, career, money and health, and shows how gratitude improves each aspect of her life. The book is peppered with quotes from philosophers such as Epicurus and Marcus Aurelius whose wisdom is as relevant today as it was in their own lifetimes, as well as research and interviews from more contemporary sources like the psychologist Martin Seligman and actor Matt Damon.

I really enjoyed this book, it’s full of ideas on how to develop an “attitude of gratitude” and I can see myself re-reading it for inspiration and motivation as I try to live gratefully.

Lanterns in the Darkness (Making Space)

image1-8 — “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” J.K. Rowling

A couple of years ago, I joined a yoga class. I’ve never been able to meditate but after an hour of yoga I felt mentally calm and physically relaxed, and the class has been a regular part of my self-care routine ever since. During one class, something my instructor said resonated with me when she described the stretch we were practising as “making space in the body”, and I realised I needed to make space in other areas of my life too.

Both at work and in our personal lives, my husband and I often felt like our lives revolved around meeting other people’s needs, and we were sometimes so busy caring for others that we had little time or energy leftover to care for ourselves.

Yet even while struggling under the weight of obligations and in the midst of turmoil, we found solace together in quiet evenings at home taking it in turns to read chapters of the Harry Potter books to each other, or ambling hand in hand along a secluded beach we found (which became our favourite escape), confiding our fears and hopes for the future in each other as the sun slipped beneath the horizon. These intimate and restorative moments sometimes seemed like lanterns in the darkness, strengthening our resolve, and guiding us towards the peace and simplicity we both longed for.

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Learning to say “no” to people who were used to us acquiescing to all of their requests (and in some cases, unreasonable demands) was, and still is, a challenge, and it caused some friction as we adjusted our boundaries with them. Yet the most difficult people were always counterbalanced by all the kind and supportive people in our lives who loyally stood by us through the darkest times, and focusing on our relationships with these family members, friends and even colleagues helped us to keep the more challenging relationships in perspective.

As we began to feel less harassed, we set about tackling the numerous little jobs that had been accumulating around our home, gradually decluttering and downsizing our possessions. We felt physically lighter every time we donated a bag of clothes to a charity shop or took a box of stuff to be recycled, and our home became a more pleasant and tranquil place to inhabit.

Now, as the build up to Christmas begins, and the dates in our calendar start to fill up, it would be easy to fall back into old habits, but we’re still finding ways to simplify our lives and make space for ourselves. Have a lovely week.

Autumnal Adventures in the Dark

When the autumn evenings grow colder and darker, I’m often tempted to curl up on the couch with my cat, Mara, on my lap and a book or TV series to while away the hours. As much as I love being cosy inside when it’s chilly outside, autumn has some lovely opportunities to get outdoors during the darker evenings.

Every year, my husband and I travel to Pitlochry to see Faskally Wood transformed with lights and music into The Enchanted Forest. One of the things I love most about the Enchanted Forest is that the theme is different every year, which means it always seems new and familiar at the same time.

Despite earlier forecasts predicting torrential rain, the weather remained crisp and clear as we meandered round the woods with a warming cup of mulled wine savouring all the sights and sounds of the forest together.

The Enchanted Forest holds a special place in our hearts as it is where we got engaged three years ago, and the well trodden paths around the loch and through the trees are filled with romance and happy memories for us.

Blurry first attempt at astrophotography

On another cold, but cloudless October evening, we went stargazing at the Galloway Forest Park for the very first time. In contrast to the bustling, electronic wonderland of the Enchanted Forest, the dark sky park was almost unnaturally dark and peaceful; yet watching the stars drift across the heavens was no less memorable and romantic.

Once our eyes had adjusted to the darkness, we could see thousands of stars, the Milky Way and even a few stragglers from the Orionid Meteor Shower clearly without a telescope.

Getting outdoors and away from all the distractions of our phones, the TV and internet for a few hours gave us a chance to slow down, clear our minds and reconnect with each other.

As a mild October gave way to a frosty November, on Saturday the 5^th (which is Guy Fawkes or Bonfire Night here in Britain), we met friends in Glasgow to watch a fireworks display. Wrapped up in coats and scarves, crunching toffee apples and watching the colourful explosions illuminate the sky, we were every bit as cosy outside as we would’ve been inside.

The last few weeks have been busy for us, but we’ve returned from all of our adventures in the dark with muddy boots and many happy memories. Have a lovely week.

Review of ‘Northanger Abbey’ by Jane Austen

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I feel unworthy of reviewing Jane Austen as I’m embarrassed to admit that until now I had only read one of her novels (Persuasion at school) but determined to fill in some of the more obvious gaps in my literary knowledge, I picked up a copy of Northanger Abbey.

Northanger Abbey was the first novel Jane Austen completed, but it languished with a publisher for over a decade before being returned to the author, and sadly it was published just a few months after her dealth.

Northanger Abbey follows Catherine Morland, an unlikely but likeable heroine with a weakness for gothic horror novels such as Ann Radcliffe’s Mysteries of Udopho. The plot trots along, though Northanger Abbey itself doesn’t feature until halfway through the story. The first half of the novel is set in Bath where Catherine meets her charming and witty hero, Henry Tilney, and the antagonists, Isabella and John Thorpe, before she is invited to visit the Tilney family’s home, Northanger Abbey.

I won’t give too much away, Northanger Abbey is not the haunted, gothic ruin that Catherine expects but that doesn’t stop her imagination from getting the better of her, and Austen creates an air of mystery and suspense during parts of the story.

This is a novel that doesn’t take itself too seriously, it’s satirical and unpretentious, but still manages to elicit sympathy for the characters when misfortunes befall them. If this novel has a fault, it is that Catherine is too sweet-natured, naïve and forgiving, while the antagonists are in contrast too selfish, conceited and devious.

Northanger Abbey seems to be often overlooked compared to Austen’s other novels but it’s easy to read and thoroughly enjoyable. I thought it was perfect reading material for a cosy night in and a lovely introduction to Jane Austen’s works.

Lovely and Grateful

Surviving on coffee and catnaps

Author: lovelyandgrateful