Author: lovelyandgrateful

Urban gardener, mood reader, parent from Scotland surviving on coffee and catnaps

May Reading Wrapup

Started a new job this month so things have been a bit hectic and only just finding time to share my May reviews.

Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi

Children of Blood and Bone is a YA fantasy set about 15 years after the Raid when the ruthless King executed all those with magical abilities, destroyed their relics and persecuted the survivors who have lost access to their magic. Zelie is the daughter of one of the executed Maji and find herself on a quest to return magic to the land. The story is told by three characters in first person POV, which is probably the story’s biggest fault, as two of the characters are related, it skews the the perspective. That aside, this story had me hooked from the first page, it’s a quick paced novel with great action, romance and drama, and I loved the West African inspired setting.

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi by Shannon Chakraborty

The story is written in the first person and narrated by the titular Amina al-Sirafi, a ship’s Captain, who is lured out of retirement when she is offered a fortune to rescue the missing granddaughter of an aristocrat, but quickly finds herself up against mystical and magical forces. I loved that the story focused on an older protagonist as fantasy still tends to favour teenage or twenty something heroes, and that she was a parent too, there are some thrilling action scenes and hilarious dialogue between the main characters (Dalila, the poisoner, is a favourite), but did feel that there were some pacing issues and the story had quite a long, slow start.

It’s Not A Bloody Trend by Kat Brown and Better Late Than Never by Emma Mahoney

I decided to review these together as they’re such similar books about women being diagnosed with ADHD as adults. Both books cover a mix of looking back over their lives making sense of certain events and experiences with knowledge of how the symptoms of ADHD impacted them, combined with research about ADHD. Of the two, I slightly preferred  It’s Not A Bloody Trend because I found it more relatable and really enjoyed how Kat Brown included so many other people diagnosed with ADHD showing the multitude of ways this often misunderstood condition impacts people across the life course, and I felt that Emma Mahoney was using her ADHD diagnosis to justify some of the way she behaved through life. Having said that, Emma Mahoney explores the pros and cons of medication in more detail and better than most books on the subject, the chapters on how Disability legislation applies to ADHD, and how to find a good therapist or coach are also extremely useful.

Salt Houses by Hala Alyan

Salt Houses begins in 1963, fifteen years after the family were forced to flee their home in Jaffa by the Israeli army, it’s the eve before Salma’s youngest daughter’s wedding and the bride-to-be has begged her mother to read her fortune in the coffee grounds. Salma sees great upheaval, arguments and violence in her family’s future and with holds the truth of what she’s seen but she can’t prevent any of the events she’s foreseen from happening. From this ominous beginning the story skips ahead to Salma’s children, grandchildren and great grandchildren as the family is forced to move again and again during the Six Day War of 1967 and the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait in 1990. This is a poignant story of one family seeking safety and home after becoming part of the Palestinian diaspora scattered across the world from Beirut to Boston.

Suddenly Everything

At the start of Spring, I greet every new flower like an old friend, glad to welcome them back after the long winter, they emerge one by one at first, then suddenly everything springs back to life at once filling our garden with flowers, greenery and wildlife.

This year has been a bit of a whirl so far. I returned to work in January, but almost immediately regretted it and started looking for another job. After a flurry of applications through February and interviews in March, I’m starting a new job this month. It’s a big shift as I’ve been with the same employer for eight years (give or take a year or two on maternity leave), by far the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place, but I was starting to feel a bit stuck and I’m hoping that this will be a fresh start.

At the grand old age of 40, I’ve also been diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which explains a lifetime of chronic distraction, forgetfulness, disorganisation, procrastination, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, fidgeting and even sleeping problems that have effected me for as long as I can remember. I’m part of a so called lost generation of daydreamers, chatterboxes and fidgets who were missed because we didn’t fit the stereotype of disruptive, hyperactive children at school. I’ve known something was wrong since I started working 20 years ago, I’m still learning about ADHD but it’s a relief to know there’s support and treatment options. As my husband’s also an ADHDer, it means our daughters have a greater chance of having it than not, but hopefully they will have access to support we missed out on if they need it.

Speaking of whom, our kids are keeping us busy. Our 4 year old has always been little miss independent, and our youngest is trying hard to keep up with her big sister (with all the bumps and bruises to prove it). Our house is usually filled with shrieks of giggles as they chase each other around and wrestle on the floor, with only the odd squabble to sort out. We’ve been enjoying lots of puddle walks in the rain lately, playing in the park, trips to the beach and games in the garden, our weekends have been full of birthday parties, and we’re all looking forward to our summer holiday soon.

Our lovely old cat, Mara, is well enough, though starting to look her age with bald patches over her eyes. She spends most of her day snoozing in a variety of beds scattered around the house, but she’s still full of cuddles and sprightly enough to chase the red dot and feathery wands when she feels like it.

Very much hoping things will settle and slow down in the second half of the year, but as always when life feels busy or overwhelming, I’m steadying myself by counting my blessings and focusing on the people and things that always bring me comfort and joy, my little family, our garden, and nature.

Have a lovely week. X

April Reading Wrapup

Oops, blogging has fallen by the wayside lately as other parts of life have taken up most of my time and attention, but finding a moment to share reviews of the books I read last month.

Go Gently by Bonnie Wright

I don’t usually pay much attention to celebrities but was intrigued to learn that actress Bonnie Wright best known for playing Ginny Weasley in the Harry Potter films is a passionate environmentalist. Go Gently is a comprehensive and practical guide to living a more sustainable life that covers everything from bamboo toilet paper to ethical banking and getting involved in activism or protests. I really enjoyed listening to the audio book but got frustrated by repeated references to the accompanying pdf, and ended up buying a copy of the book. This is a great contrast to the climate doomism in the news and a very hopeful book, Bonnie Wright doesn’t expect everyone to do everything she suggests but if everyone does something then we can all make a difference.

Murder Most Unladylike by Robin Stevens

I loved Enid Blyton’s Mallory Towers series as a child, and this feels like such a modern and refreshing twist on the boarding school genre as two young students investigate the mysterious death of one of their teachers. Set in the 1930s, this is a cleverly plotted mystery with plenty of suspects, clues and the odd red herring to keep the reader guessing, but also explores themes such as racism, same sex relationships and children born out of wedlock in a historical context. This was lots of fun, thrilling in parts and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the series.

The New Age of Empire by Kehinde Andrews

A fascinating but grim history of the colonisation of Australia, the America’s, India, Africa and the genocides that European exploration and expansion involved. This really packs in huge amount of information from the inherently racist ideology of the Enlightenment and the history of the slave trade, slavery and the industrial revolution to the rise of neoliberalism, and provides context for present day conflicts such as Israel-Palestine, Sudan and the Democratic Republic of Congo. This is the kind of book that changed how I view the world giving me a greater awareness of the whitewashing of colonial and imperial history, and the exploitation of people and resources still going on today.

Unmasked by Ellie Middleton

A really accessible and inclusive guide to autism and ADHD by a young woman who was diagnosed with both in her early 20s. Ellie Middleton is clearly a passionate advocate for the neurodiverse community calling for kindness, patience and reasonable adjustments to help them navigate education, work and relationships. Unmasked is a really informative book with chapters providing clear explanations of the symptoms and behaviours of ASD and ADHD as well as debunking some persistent stereotypes that have lead to misdiagnosis and underdiagnosis (especially in women), as well as lots of insight into the lived experience.

Crookhaven: The Forgotten Maze by J. J. Arcanjo

I loved the first book in the series (reviewed here) and expected another fun heist during pickpocket Gabriel Avery’s second year at Crookhaven but this turned out to be such a heartwarming story about friendship and found family. Crookhaven offers such an original and fun twist on the boarding school genre of children’s fiction, but with high stakes as the students find themselves caught up in the schemes of the illusive and ruthless criminal gang, The Nameless, and I can’t wait to find out what happens next.

Vulture Capitalism by Grace Berkeley

I’ve become increasingly convinced that governments represent corporate interests not ordinary people’s, and Vulture Capitalism is packed with facts, figures and economic theory that confirmed my suspicions. It’s a bit dry in places but provides a thorough critique of Capitalism, debunking the myths of free markets and competition that neoliberals still use to justify privatisation and deregulation, even as smaller companies are swallowed up by huge multinational corporations and the same multinationals are bailed out by governments so they never experience the consequences of their high risk investments and lending. The last two chapters detailing how ordinary people have organised and won against corporations at local and national levels are particularly inspiring.

What have you been reading lately? X

Springtime Wanders

After a long winter, spring seems to be flying by in a blur of children’s parties, time in the garden and family adventures.

At the end of March, we took a trip to Blair Drummond safari, which we’d never been to before. We were impressed by the collection of animals from lazy lions to penguins, grazing giraffes and the ever entertaining meerkats, though our girls were disappointed we couldn’t see the tiger. There was also ice creams vans, a huge wooden fortress playground, and things we didn’t have time to visit like a little fair with favourite rides like a caterpillar coaster and spinning tea cups, the monkey island and an animatronic dinosaur forest. It was a great day out and definitely somewhere we’ll return to because there was just so much to see and do.

We also had our first trip to Lunderston Bay since last autumn. We’ve already had a bracing New Years Day walk at Ayr beach, but our first trip to Lunderston on a mild, clear day felt like the symbolic start to spring as it’s become one of our favourite places to visit with the kids during the summer months. We took a wander along the shore, our girls splashing in the waves, digging in the sand, and searching for critters in the rock pools before heading to the playpark at the opposite side.

Our most recent adventure was to a place I’d seen on Instagram called the Auchineden Spout. We parked at the St Mocha drive thru, taking the opportunity to buy a slab of salted caramel brownie big enough to share, crossed the road and wandered up a private farm road on foot. We were unlucky with the weather as it started raining as soon as we set out, though the kids were wrapped up in waterproofs and wellies, and had plenty of puddles to splash in along the way. It’s a fairly easy route, following the road past a couple of abandoned houses until the road forks, then turning off the main road when we spotted the footbridge across a small waterfall, then a muddy scramble down to the bottom of the stream and the Auchineden Spout. Our daughters loved paddling in the stream and being able to walk behind the waterfall into a shallow cave high enough for them to stand in. It’s another place that we’ll keep in mind for a walk in better weather.

I’ve really enjoyed getting out to explore new and old favourite places, and we’re looking forward to lots more adventures over the summer. Have a lovely week. X

March reading wrapup

March was yet another month when I ignored my ever increasing TBR and read mostly library books instead, it was also another month where I read more non-fiction than fiction.

Scatterbrain by Shaparak Khorsandi

I’ve been reading lots of non-fiction but chose this expecting it to be a bit more light hearted than other topics I’ve been reading lately. Shaparak Khorsandi is an Iranian-British comedian who was diagnosed with ADHD in her 40s, and this is her autobiographical attempt to understand the impact that ADHD has had on her life from her education and career to friendships, relationships, and constant battle with clutter. It’s quite a short autobiography but one that’s amusing, relatable and poignant.

Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-Reum

This was a buddy read with two good friends, and we had the loveliest afternoon discussing the book and catching up over wine and freshly baked sourdough bread. A gentle and meandering story translated from Korean about a woman who risks societal disapproval when she gives up her career and marriage to run an independent bookshop. This does provide some interesting insights into South Korean expectations around marriage and work, but it’s a slice of life story about the little community that forms around the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop.

In My Mother’s Footsteps by Mona Hajjar Halaby

The second autobiography I read last month was an emotional insight into the Palestinian refugee’s diaspora. On 14 May 1948, Mona Hajjar Halaby’s mother packed a small suitcase and left her home and everything in it to stay with family in Egypt, expecting to return in a few weeks once the conflict between the Zionists and Palestinians had ended, but it would be 60 years before she would return and then only as a tourist. Mona was given the opportunity to teach at a school in Ramallah in the West Bank for a year, and this is her unflinchingly honest experience of her time in occupied Palestine navigating checkpoints and work visas, and the erasure of Palestinian history as she tries to find out more of her family’s story.

The Queen of Distraction by Terry Matlen

I had high hopes for this book, but it failed to deliver. If you love Bullet journaling or filofaxes, then this is the book for you, but if (like me) you find admin tasks tedious and overwhelming then a lot of the suggestions in this seem like making extra work for yourself. No amount of post-it notes, index cards, alarm clocks or colour-coded wall calendars will help me to stop procrastinating, be on time for appointments or keep on top of the housework, and some of the other suggestions are laughable, like employing a private chef if you struggle with cooking dinner or putting your kids to bed in the clothes they’re supposed to wear the next day to avoid rushing in the morning.  Most of the ideas in this book seem needlessly complicated, when the only thing that has ever worked for me is simplifying and minimizing. This book does a good job of explaining ADHD and how it affects people in ordinary situations but the writer doesn’t really explore any other ways to manage ADHD symptoms other than medication in any detail.

Have a lovely weekend. X

Easter Greetings

I haven’t much time to write lately as we’ve had a run of back to back illnesses which floored us all, but we’ve enjoyed a fun, chocolate and family filled Easter holiday weekend.

We celebrated our oldest daughter’s fourth birthday in February with a little birthday party with all her cousins and best friends from nursery. Meanwhile our youngest is now 18 months old, she’s settled in to nursery, learned a handful of words (Mara, shoes, yeah, no, baby) and is climbing everything.

It’s been a long winter, but buds on the apple trees, blossom on the plum tree and daffodils in the border are the most welcome signs that spring is here at last. There are trays of tomato and teasel seedlings on the windowsills inside, and blue tits flittering and twittering outside the kitchen window as they choose one of our bird boxes to nest in. Growing a little bit of our food and watching the wildlife in our garden always helps me to feel connected to nature and to slow down.

This weekend, while the girls took turns on their slide, my husband scooped leaves and blanketweed out of the pond, and I spent some time in the greenhouse sowing cucumber, celery and melon seeds, before the sky darkened and we were pelted by hail stones trying to rescue the washing drying on the line. Then there was the excitement of pulling on wellies over our pyjamas for an Easter egg hunt in the garden yesterday morning and chocolate for breakfast afterwards.

Very much looking forward to spending more time in the garden and beyond after a long winter cooped up inside. Happy Easter all! X

February Reading Wrapup

February turned out to be a quick, hectic month and unusually I found myself reading all non-fiction.

Ten Myths About Israel by Ilan Pappe

Frustrated by mainstream journalism coverage of the most recent conflict between Israel and Palestine, I picked up this book by Israeli historian, Ilan Pappe, to try to learn more. Ten Myths About Israel challenges the narrative many of us have been taught to believe about Israel as a land without a people for a people without a land, Israel being the only democracy in the middle east, that zionism is Judaism, and the two state solution is the only hope for lasting peace. It’s not without controversy, as Ilan Pappe argues that consecutive Israeli governments have undermined the peace process by refusing to negotiate with Palestinian leaders and allowing illegal settlements in Gaza and the West Bank. Ten Myths About Israel provided the context that I was seeking and I appreciated that this offers a secular history which doesn’t hold all Jewish people or Israeli citizens responsible for the actions of extremists in government or the Zionist movement.

Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate

A really interesting read (or in my case, listen) from a psychiatrist who has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, which includes anecdotes and reflection from his own experiences as well as those of patients he’s worked with.
Scattered Minds explains the symptoms and signs of ADHD, and examines the links between genetics, early childhood environment and neurobiology in individuals with ADHD.
Gabor Mate argues that while there is a neurobiological aspect, that impaired parent-child attachment and environmental stress during the  early years can also have an impact on the development of ADHD, and that we live in a fast-paced culture and society that exacerbates ADHD symptoms.
This also contains advice on how to parent a child with adhd, such as how to build attunement and attachment, overcome oppositionality and stubbornness, and how to motivate a child with ADHD.

Freedom is a Constant Struggle by Angela Y. Davis

This is an collection of speeches, articles and interviews on related themes and topics from the prison industrial complex, the militarization of the police and institutional racism which has lead to so many black people being killed by the police force, the power of collective action and intersectional feminism, and the struggle for freedom and abolition from the United States of America to Palestine. Freedom is a Constant Struggle is an interesting, informative and thought-provoking little book that really left me wanting to read more of Angela Y. Davis’ work.

It’s Not That Radical by Mikaela Loach

This is a really interesting book by a young, black female environmental activist that draws connections between exploitation of land and resources that lead to climate breakdown and social issues like the exploitation of workers and racism. One thing I found really inspiring was the idea that climate justice means more than just preserving the status quo with green capitalism alternatives, and the climate emergency provides an opportunity to create a fairer, cleaner and healthier world for everyone, but I was a little disappointed that there weren’t more practical steps to take beyond joining a trade union or protesting.

Have a lovely week all. X

Winter Gardening

Normally the garden is dormant through the winter months but this year we’ve been planting up the space where the boundary hedge used to be, and making a few other changes around the garden too.

I’ve totally ignored the spacing guidance and planted four apple trees (Arthur Turner for cooking, Ashmead’s kernal, Saturn and Red Devil for eating) along the fence, interspersed with climbing roses and clematis. We moved the Crown Princess Margareta and James Galway roses from the damp and shady corner at the back of the garden to the fenceline. I really hope they survive the move, especially Margareta as its a beautiful rose and has always done well despite a less than ideal aspect but one that has been retired by David Austin. We also planted The Generous Gardener and Strawberry Hill along the fence, and the rambler Malvern Hills to climb over the pergola, because I go into a kind of trance when the David Austin catalogue arrives. I planted daffodil bulbs between the roses and apple trees at the end of December and start of January, far later than planned.

We’ve moved one of our square raised beds from the shady, far corner to beside the green house to make space for the kids’ swing, a birch tree and Holly bush in the corner instead.

Our youngest daughter usually toddles about and digs in the mud when we’re gardening, while our oldest helps planting bulbs, watering and collecting worms and other creepy crawlies. We all get so much out of time spent outside in nature.

In the deep midwinter, when the weather swings between hard frosts and torrential rain, it feels good to get outside when we can to feel the sunlight on our faces and tackle some of the jobs in the garden that need done. Now in the first days of spring, we’ve had sunshine (if not warmth) the hellebores and daffodils blooming and the promise of so much more as nature starts to wake from hibernation. Have a lovely week. X

January Reading Wrapup

Finally sharing my January reading wrapup, after a fairly hectic start to February. Last month, I sought out a few gentle, comfort reads to contrast the back to work blues and grim news.

Away with the Penguins by Hazel Prior

Away with the Penguins was my first read of the year, and what an emotional roller-coaster it was! I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the cantankerous and indomitable Veronica McCready as she embarks on a grand adventure at the age of 86 to Antarctica and learns so much about herself, others and penguins along the way. Parts of this were extremely moving, and reminded me of stories my own late nanna told me about how much society has changed in her lifetime. I’ll definitely be reading the sequel.

What You Are Looking for is in the Library by Michiko Aoyama

A lovely novel translated from Japanese that follows a group of characters all at different stages of life who visit their little local library, and get a personal recommendation from the enigmatic librarian. This is such a heartwarming, inspiring and comforting story about characters learning to see their own value and worth, working towards their dreams and learning to enjoy where they are on the journey too.

More than a Woman by Caitlin Moran

I’ve always considered Caitlyn Moran to be an opinionated, funny and sometimes vulgar big sisterly figure. I loved How to Be a Woman, which I read at a time when I was in a similar stage of life, and had been looking forward to her take on middle-age. As ever, Caitlin delivers an unflinchingly honest report of the joys, stresses and sorrows of life as she describes her work-life balance, housework, parenting teenagers, marriage, aging parents, botox and mid-life a fashion. I didn’t find this quite as politically astute as How to Be A Woman but at times this felt like such a reassuring chat and a cup of tea with an old friend.

Have a lovely week. X

January Notes and Hopes

My little blog has been gathering dust while I’ve been juggling my return to work with family life, but just finding some time to share a little post about some of the adventures we’ve enjoyed in January.

We started 2024 with a trip to Ayr Beach for a stroll along the shore with a rainbow arching overhead, which seemed like the loveliest symbol of hope for the New Year. A wrapped up New Year’s Day walk has become one of our traditions, and it’s been lovely to share it with our little daughters, who always love a trip to the beach whatever the weather or season.

We also took a trip to the Sea Life Centre, which we last visited when our youngest was just a couple of weeks old, but now a year old and walking, she was delighted by the fish, sharks, rays and otters. Our nearly four year old also enjoyed it, and was fascinated by seeing a real crown of thorns starfish, which are the villains in one of her favourite TV shows, The Octonauts.

Finally, we visited Loch Lomond one morning for a wee wander. While the kids played in the park, I admired the view and spotted some snowdrop growing under an oak tree. As much as I love the excuse to stay home and cosy in the winter, I miss spending time outside, so these winter walks and the little signs that spring is on the way always give me a boost.

I returned to work after the Christmas break, and it’s been a less smooth transition second time around because so much has changed, colleagues have been promoted, others have moved on, retired or passed away, and I feel like I’m ready for a change too.

Have a lovely week. X