Life Lately..!

Time seems to slipping away from me as we approach the end of the year. We are so lucky to have such distinct seasons here in Scotland, early November was unusually mild but the last couple of weeks brought a cold snap full of frosts and subzero temperatures, and we’re all looking forward to the merriment and cheer of Christmas.

Our oldest daughter started school in August, and she has settled in so well, making a little group of friends, building on her number and counting skills, writing and learning to read. I couldn’t be more proud of her as she works her way through the phonics books we borrowed from the library. She’s moved up two classes in gymnastics since May and we’re thinking about looking for a competitive club because she shows such aptitude and skill, and she enjoys it so much.

Our youngest is enjoying extra one to one time with me, something she hasn’t really had since she was a baby, and she’s coped better than I expected with going to nursery without her sister. We celebrated her third birthday with a little party at the start of November, and she’s moved up to pre-school at nursery. This season of parenting is bringing a lot of new challenges but I’m leaning into it as much as I can.

I’ve also made a big change, resigning from my role in council social services to move into the charity sector. Giving up a profession and taking a paycut feels like a step backwards, but I’m hoping it will be less stressful and a better balance for our family. Our daughters will only be little for such a short time and I don’t want to miss it. My husband’s been self employed full time since February and his business has been more successful than we expected so it feels like a good time for me to try something new.

I’ve also returned to my old yoga studio after a five year gap, it’s a lovely restorative and relaxing class that’s just what my mind and body need at the moment. 

Yesterday was the first anniversary of our cat Mara’s, death. I’ve been struggling with a lot of grief through autumn, as I loved snuggling up with Mara in the evenings as she snoozed on my lap while I read, or when she would sleep between my ankles, or crawl under the duvet to snooze pressed into my side on the coldest nights. The girls had been asking if/when we’d get another cat, so we started making enquiries to see if it would be possible to adopt a house cat with small children. At the end of October, I visited a little black and white cat being fostered on a Saturday morning and we adopted her on the Monday morning. I’ll write more about our little Pixie soon, but she’s settling in well.

Life still feels fairly hectic at the moment, and our calendar is already filling up with Christmas events but I’m trying to find quiet moments amidst the hustle and bustle, and to embrace all the changes. Have a lovely week. X

Summer Holidays

This is a big week for our family as our oldest daughter starts school tomorrow, and as the summer holidays draw to a close, I’m reminiscing about one of the highlights of the summer, our family holiday in July. This year we booked a caravan in St Andrews, which is not actually that far away from where we live, but further away than we’d take the kids for a day trip.

The caravan park we stayed at was beside the Fife Coastal Path meaning we were a short walk from East Sands beach. We had the most incredible view from the caravan, and I loved seeing the sun set over the iconic sites of the Cathedral and Castle ruins every evening, and the sun burning through the mist in the morning.

We spent a good bit of time exploring local sites and attraction from Craigtoun Country Park, which has lovely grounds to wander and adventure playparks but also a variety of paid activities from mini golf and go karts to tractor rides and mini train, and bouncy castles through the summer. We visited the Aquarium, which is small but packed full of interesting creatures including axolotl, meerkats and a colony of Humbolt penguins. We picked strawberries and cherries at Cairnie fruit farm, where the kids also enjoyed trampolines, sandpit, go-karts and slides.

We drove up to Dundee for a day trip to see the RSS Discovery museum and the V&A Dundee. We’d visited the Discovery once before and it’s absolutely fascinating learning about Scott and the brave explorers in the Antarctic, there were plenty of interactive parts for the kids too, though they were a bit less awed by it.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the V&A Dundee as I’ve only ever seen photos of the exterior, but it exceeded all my expectations. There were stem puzzles, games and blocks for kids to play with at the entrance, plus dress up areas upstairs, and there’s also a free exhibition of Palestinian embroidery (Tatreez) running from June 2025 to Spring 2026 to celebrate the 45th Anniversary of Dundee twinning with Nablus in the West Bank.

We spent a bit of time at the beach every day too, splashing in the waves, digging in the sand and building sandcastles. We also visited Jeanetta’s Gelateria almost every day for ice cream.

I don’t always feel we get the balance right between relaxation and activities, and as fun and exciting as our holidays are, it is always good to get home and settle back into our routines, but this was a really lovely break.

Have a lovely week. X

Wintering

Life has felt fairly hectic lately and I’ve felt out of sync with the natural world that is only just starting to emerge from hibernation. A little bit of light has crept into our mornings and evenings, and snowdrops and crocuses have pushed up through the ground bringing some much needed colour to these dreary, grey winter days.

Over the last few weeks, my husband and I’ve been trying to get fitter, he recently invested in an exercise bike so we’ve both enjoyed cycling virtually through downtown Tokyo and Kyoto (where we spent our honeymoon almost a decade ago), and we’ve been doing yoga together most evenings before bed. I’ve joined a weekly fitness class at our local gym, which has been a fun way to increase my activity. It’s been tricky finding time to exercise between work and parenting, but we want to get a bit fitter if only to keep up with our two young, energetic daughters.

I’ve struggled a bit with the winter blues but I’m finding such comfort in little glimmers like building elaborate train tracks and magnetic tile towns on the living room floor with the girls or family games of pop up pirate, hungry hippos, dobble and bingo, lots of messy kinetic sand and play dough fun too. This month there have been parties for our oldest daughter’s fifth birthday, and my mother in law’s too. My husband has also gone full-time self employed for the first time, we’re still adjusting to the new rhythm of his work but will hopefully be less stressful and more flexible than his previous role.

We’ve been getting on with little jobs in the garden too, mostly tidying up but also planting a silver birch and pear tree. Winter hasn’t quite surrendered to Spring here yet, it’s still pretty cold, dark, wet and wild, but the first little daffodils in our border have flowered. Have a lovely week. X

Gardening through the bleak midwinter…

January is often a quiet time for us, settling back into our routines and slowing down after all the excitement and excess of Christmas.

There isn’t much growing in the garden at this time of year, but there are still lots of little jobs and tidying up to do. There’s a silver birch and Concorde pear tree waiting to be planted where the bamboo used to be. While the bamboo was a bit of a deadzone for wildlife, I’m hoping the birds and insects will appreciate more native trees and shrubs.

One of the other big changes is the double swing my husband built for our daughters, which they absolutely love and has proven to be reassuringly sturdy so far. In the winter months, we often feel cooped up so swings and the slide give us something to do in the garden when it’s too cold or wet to go the park.

My husband also built a compost box out of pallets and wood leftover from other projects, and we’ve already starting putting our tree clippings, cardboard, fruit and vegetable peel in there to rot down and turn back into nutritious soil.

We spent a couple of hours pottering around in the garden last week, and it was so peaceful without any of the pressure I often feel during summer. Then at the weekend, everything shut down when Storm Eowyn arrived, and we spent a whole day inside watching the storm rage outside and trying to keep two small kids entertained without any of our usual activities. The wind smashed a few panes of glass in our green house, but we were extremely lucky that we didn’t lose any tiles from our roof or fence panels.

As always, very grateful for our little patch, and so looking forward to spring. Have a lovely week. X

New Year, Same Old Me

The crossover from one year into another was gentle in our house, the kids slept right through while my husband and I started rewatching the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings (and we drew the trilogy out over the next few evenings). 2024 left me feeling a bit bruised and tender, and I wasn’t feeling celebratory on New Year’s Eve, so we saved our champagne for the evening of New Year’s Day instead.

While others are making resolutions, setting fitness goals and planning holidays, I find myself craving peace and rest after a turbulent year.

I returned to work last January after a year off on maternity leave and immediately regretted it because so many people had moved on that it was like joining a different team. I started a new job in June but it’s felt like jumping out of frying pan into the fire as it’s much busier and less specialised than I’d hoped, and certainly not the change of career I’m seeking. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring, and while it explained so many struggles I’ve had through life, it also brought a wave of fresh self doubt and regrets as well. Finally, in November, we lost our lovely cat Mara, after nine years of her companionship, and I have been struggling with grief and guilt ever since. It’s by no means the worst year I’ve endured, but it’s taken a toll on me nevertheless.

The highlights of 2024 were mostly moments with our family such as our summer holiday, visiting the Enchanted Forest and other daytrips, and just the joy and wonder of seeing our daughters grow. Our oldest turned four in February, she is so bright and confident, and she’s all set to start school in August 2025, which is as exciting as it is nerve-wracking, and will be a big adjustment for us all. Our youngest turned two in November and has become such a little chatterbox, already full of opinions, and ever eager to keep up with her big sister.

It rained all morning on New Year’s Day, but cleared up in the afternoon so we braved a wrapped up trip to Lunderston Bay for our traditional beach walk. I’ve been feeling a bit maudlin lately, and a walk on the beach was such a balm for my weary heart.

I waded into the water in my wellies, which is as close to a dash and a dook as I’ve ever gotten, but there were some other braver folk who went for a dip. As we were beach combing for shells, the sun broke through the clouds and cast a golden glow over snowy mountains in the distance, the shimmering water and the sandy shore, reminding me how grateful I am to live in such a beautiful country, and how lovely winter here can be.

We’ve filled the first few days of 2025 with play dates with our daughters’ cousins and nursery friends, swimming at the local pool and a final visit to the Winterfest to ride the carousel and Santa’s train (the helter skelter was closed due to ice!). It’s been a bit of a blur, but I’m grateful for so many of these moments of joy, laughter and connection, and hope 2025 will be full of more. It’s back to work and nursery tomorrow, but wishing everyone a belated happy New Year. X

Sleep well, sweet Mara 🐾

This is a post I’ve been dreading writing for some time, but on Monday 25th November, our lovely cat Mara passed away.

It all happened so quickly that I’m still in shock. A couple of weeks ago, I’d been worried about Mara’s teeth as she’d started to become a noisy, messy and picky eater, all very out of character for our little snaffler. Unfortunately, the vet diagnosed squamous cell carcinoma, an incurable and terminal cancer of the mouth. We agreed to try pain management but even so, Mara went downhill quickly, stopped grooming and struggling to eat anything except soup.

Mara’s last few days

On the morning of Monday 25th November, we called the vet to arrange having her put to sleep, because we couldn’t stand watching her waste away and prolonging her suffering. We let the kids say their goodbyes and I took Mara to the vet, while my husband took the kids to the park. I stayed with Mara to the end, who true to form was headbooping me and purring until the sedative took effect. She slipped away peacefully without a twitch or whisper, it was so peaceful for her but heartbreaking for me.

I’ve been in a fog of grief ever since, our home feels unbearably empty without her, and all our routines seem off-kilter.

Our four year old daughter has taken it well, there have been some tears but I helped her write a letter to Mara about all her favourite memories to help her remember but it is hard when she says she wishes we could visit Mara. (Same, kid.) It’s been harder to explain to our two year old who keeps asking “where’s Mara?” and looking for her around the house. We’ve spent a lot time huddled round phones looking at photos and videos of Mara. Mara was such a big character in our family that it’s hard to imagine our story continuing without her.

It’s impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t let an animal into their heart, just how much love and joy they bring to our lives and how much sorrow we feel when they pass. Mara was a resilient character who overcame more than her fair share of adversity from losing her previous owner (that led us to adopting her) and the amputation of her tail when we found a mast cell tumour on it. Mara was very much a family cat, whether stretched out on my lap or rolling on her back to let the kids tickle her tummy, she actively sought us out, and she had an enormous capacity to give and recieve affection.

I can’t think of a stress that couldn’t be soothed or a hurt that couldn’t be healed by some time snuggling with Mara. For nine years, Mara has been one of the things I’ve been most grateful for, and my world feels like a worse place without her. Yet, deep down I know she was a happy cat, we gave her a good life, and it was the kindest thing to let her go.

Sleep well, my sweet Mara. You’re part of our family and home forever. Xx

All aglow for Halloween 🎃

We ended October with our second light show, Glasglow at the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow. Glasglow has been hit and miss in previous years, but we all really enjoyed it this time around. The kids are also at an age to appreciate these kinds of events, especially with the treat of toasted marshmallows (which appears to be a staple at outdoor events now) and chips for supper.

Taking place around Halloween often means the theme has a few spooky sections, but there were only a couple of parts with clowns and skeletons that were a bit too scary for kids (and big kids like myself).

Elsewhere there were smoke-filled bubbles to pop, strings of lights changing colour in time to the music to walk through, a graveyard full of amusing epitaphs, and a walkway over the field of light, and of course, Kibble Palace itself to list our favourite parts. Just like last year, the designers had filled Kibble palace, a 19th Century glasshouse home to the national fern collection with lasers, it is a genuinely original way of using the space that delighted the kids and I’ve never seen anything like it at any other light show we’ve visited.

Back at home, I carved pumpkins for the girls’ nursery Halloween party. Our 4 year old asked for a ballerina, and our nearly two year old wanted a hedgehog, which ended up winning a prize.

It gets dark early in the autumn and winter months here in Scotland, and I really appreciate these evening events that give us a reason to wrap up and get outside for a few hours. October has been such a busy but lovely month, and Glasglow was such a fun night to round it off with. Have a lovely week. X

More Autumn Adventures 🍂

It feels like time is slipping through my fingers, this has been such a hectic year and we’re well into autumn and the ember months. The weather has cooled and the evenings are growing darker, the leaves have turned into a gorgeous array of gold, amber and scarlet, and every breeze causes a flutter of them to fall.

We had a really fun day trip to Dalkeith Country Park in Midlothian where the kids enjoyed exploring the adventure playpark and Fort Douglas with its all it’s climbing frames, bridges and slides, as well as the bouncy pillows and flying foxes. It’s a bit of a jaunt for us, but always lots of fun and great value.

We’ve been out foraging for chestnuts or conkers at our local parks, and collecting seeds, flowers and leaves for sticky pictures. We also enjoyed the loveliest walk through the woods at Rouken Glen with the kids filling their baskets with the most colourful leaves, pine cones, moss covered bark and branches covered in lichen that they could find for a little show and tell nature project at nursery.

My husband and I even managed a day out by ourselves on a bank holiday Monday at the end of September. After dropping the girls off at nursery, we drove out to Callendar for lunch, a wee browse around the Nutcracker Christmas shop and a walk up to Bracklinn Falls. The waterfall itself is actually quite hard to see from the path, and best viewed from the rocks in front of it, which are sturdy but can be a bit slippery when wet. It’s been about a decade since we last visited the falls, and was really lovely to rediscover it again after so long.

I really love living in a part of the world with such distinct seasons, and autumn is particularly lovely in Scotland. Have a lovely week. X

Suddenly Everything

At the start of Spring, I greet every new flower like an old friend, glad to welcome them back after the long winter, they emerge one by one at first, then suddenly everything springs back to life at once filling our garden with flowers, greenery and wildlife.

This year has been a bit of a whirl so far. I returned to work in January, but almost immediately regretted it and started looking for another job. After a flurry of applications through February and interviews in March, I’m starting a new job this month. It’s a big shift as I’ve been with the same employer for eight years (give or take a year or two on maternity leave), by far the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place, but I was starting to feel a bit stuck and I’m hoping that this will be a fresh start.

At the grand old age of 40, I’ve also been diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which explains a lifetime of chronic distraction, forgetfulness, disorganisation, procrastination, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, fidgeting and even sleeping problems that have effected me for as long as I can remember. I’m part of a so called lost generation of daydreamers, chatterboxes and fidgets who were missed because we didn’t fit the stereotype of disruptive, hyperactive children at school. I’ve known something was wrong since I started working 20 years ago, I’m still learning about ADHD but it’s a relief to know there’s support and treatment options. As my husband’s also an ADHDer, it means our daughters have a greater chance of having it than not, but hopefully they will have access to support we missed out on if they need it.

Speaking of whom, our kids are keeping us busy. Our 4 year old has always been little miss independent, and our youngest is trying hard to keep up with her big sister (with all the bumps and bruises to prove it). Our house is usually filled with shrieks of giggles as they chase each other around and wrestle on the floor, with only the odd squabble to sort out. We’ve been enjoying lots of puddle walks in the rain lately, playing in the park, trips to the beach and games in the garden, our weekends have been full of birthday parties, and we’re all looking forward to our summer holiday soon.

Our lovely old cat, Mara, is well enough, though starting to look her age with bald patches over her eyes. She spends most of her day snoozing in a variety of beds scattered around the house, but she’s still full of cuddles and sprightly enough to chase the red dot and feathery wands when she feels like it.

Very much hoping things will settle and slow down in the second half of the year, but as always when life feels busy or overwhelming, I’m steadying myself by counting my blessings and focusing on the people and things that always bring me comfort and joy, my little family, our garden, and nature.

Have a lovely week. X

Winter Solstice Reflections

Taking some time on the Winter Solstice to reflect on the build up to Christmas so far. December has been a bittersweet month, our festive preparations and fun bookended by funerals at the beginning and end of the month, it’s a very pertinent reminder that the most important things cannot be bought and never to take our loved ones for granted.

I’ve shown remarkable restraint in not overbooking our calendar and dragging my family to every Santa’s grotto, light show and pantomime. Yet we have enjoyed trips to the Christmas markets with full family rides on the carousel, waltzers and ferris wheel. We also attended our oldest daughter’s first nativity and Christmas show at preschool, which was lovely, if a bit overwhelming for the young cast.

Decorating the tree was no mean feat with our one-year-old daughter stealing the baubles, our cat chasing the tinsel and our nearly four year old daughter “helping”, but we got there in the end. I added two new ornaments to our collection for the tree: a wooden Santa, that I found at the Christmas Emporium in Pitlochry back in October when we went to visit the Enchanted Forest, and a Nordic Gnome (or Gonk) because our youngest daughter is fascinated by them.

We had a couple of snow days in early December, waking up to the muffled silence of snow blanketing our corner of the world. I was every bit as excited as our kids as we wrapped up to tumble outside throwing snowballs at each other and making Angels on the ground. It was a wonderful reminder that sometimes the most fun can be both spontaneous and free.

The festive season can feel stressful and overwhelming as we rush around buying presents and trying to squeeze in all the magical experiences, forgetting that the true magic of Christmas is often the warmth and comfort of our homes contrasted with the cold and darkness outside, waking up to the world blanketed by snow and just enjoying time together with the people we love most.

Wishing everyone a very merry Christmas when it comes. X