Life Lately..!

Time seems to slipping away from me as we approach the end of the year. We are so lucky to have such distinct seasons here in Scotland, early November was unusually mild but the last couple of weeks brought a cold snap full of frosts and subzero temperatures, and we’re all looking forward to the merriment and cheer of Christmas.

Our oldest daughter started school in August, and she has settled in so well, making a little group of friends, building on her number and counting skills, writing and learning to read. I couldn’t be more proud of her as she works her way through the phonics books we borrowed from the library. She’s moved up two classes in gymnastics since May and we’re thinking about looking for a competitive club because she shows such aptitude and skill, and she enjoys it so much.

Our youngest is enjoying extra one to one time with me, something she hasn’t really had since she was a baby, and she’s coped better than I expected with going to nursery without her sister. We celebrated her third birthday with a little party at the start of November, and she’s moved up to pre-school at nursery. This season of parenting is bringing a lot of new challenges but I’m leaning into it as much as I can.

I’ve also made a big change, resigning from my role in council social services to move into the charity sector. Giving up a profession and taking a paycut feels like a step backwards, but I’m hoping it will be less stressful and a better balance for our family. Our daughters will only be little for such a short time and I don’t want to miss it. My husband’s been self employed full time since February and his business has been more successful than we expected so it feels like a good time for me to try something new.

I’ve also returned to my old yoga studio after a five year gap, it’s a lovely restorative and relaxing class that’s just what my mind and body need at the moment.

Yesterday was the first anniversary of our cat Mara’s, death. I’ve been struggling with a lot of grief through autumn, as I loved snuggling up with Mara in the evenings as she snoozed on my lap while I read, or when she would sleep between my ankles, or crawl under the duvet to snooze pressed into my side on the coldest nights. The girls had been asking if/when we’d get another cat, so we started making enquiries to see if it would be possible to adopt a house cat with small children. At the end of October, I visited a little black and white cat being fostered on a Saturday morning and we adopted her on the Monday morning. I’ll write more about our little Pixie soon, but she’s settling in well.

Life still feels fairly hectic at the moment, and our calendar is already filling up with Christmas events but I’m trying to find quiet moments amidst the hustle and bustle, and to embrace all the changes. Have a lovely week. X

Glamping Anniversary Trip

To celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary (and 17 years together! 😱), we decided to take a family trip glamping on a farm just outside Edinburgh.

We used it as an excuse to visit two of our favourite attractions that were nearby, our youngest wanted to go to the zoo so we had a day at Five Sisters Zoo, where we were lucky to see the adorable otters gambolling around, eurasian lynx, lions, say hello to the new black bear and clouded leopard, and learned about the snow leopard and conservation efforts to save this beautiful creature which is struggling with the impact of climate change in the wild.

Our oldest daughter had asked to go back to the World of Illusions in Edinburgh which is full of interactive exhibitions that the kids loved exploring and playing with from kaleidoscopic mirrors to plasma balls, and of course the mirror maze and the vortex bridge.

The pod we stayed in was small but very cosy with an en-suite. The girls were happy to play on the swings, chute and toy cars scattered around the farm, and enjoyed toasted marshmallows in the firepit, while my hubby and I loved soaking in the private hot tub once the girls were asleep.

*View from the pod and toasting marshmallows*

We finished our weekend away with a trip to Dalkeith Country Park, which is one of our favourite places to take the kids. The kids spent the morning jumping and flopping on the bouncy pillows, climbing the forts and riding the flying foxes.

Though it was a busy few days, we all really appreciated some time together after so many changes to our family routines lately. Have a lovely week. X

Finding Hope in the Garden

Despite being the most urban-dwelling of our families, we are still a very outdoorsy family and the garden has always felt like an extension of our home. The kids love their slide, swings and the little mud kitchen we set up under the pergola on the patio, but our little garden offers so many other opportunities for play, learning and discovery too.

As a child, I remember the delight of picking fresh strawberries from my mum’s garden every June, and I started my own strawberry patch to share that simple joy with my own daughters. I find peas will grow almost anywhere so I plant them everywhere, and the girls love picking them fresh from the pod as a snack. We grow cherry tomatoes in the green house, which our girls also love picking as soon as they turn red. We’ll never be self-sufficient but growing some of our own fruit and vegetables is a great way of teaching our children about food production.

I’ve tried to make our garden as child and wildlife friendly as possible, and we’re always delighted to see bees bumbling and butterflies fluttering around the garden, as well as worms wriggling, caterpillars crawling and so many other insects just going about their daily business. At time when there is increasing alarm about the decline of insects, I like to feel we are doing our bit to help the insect population, offering them food, water and shelter, and my kids already understand that we need pollinators if we want to keep eating so many of their favourite foods like strawberries, raspberries and apples. My kids often help filling up the little trays of water we leave out for insects and birds in hot weather, as well as the bird feeders, combining their scooping and pouring skills with another lesson in taking care of nature. We’ve had lots of butterflies in the garden this year from small whites nibbling my kale and red admirals feasting on our plums.

Over the years, we’ve had a few hedgehogs visiting the garden much to everyone’s delight. Last year we helped fatten up a little hoglet that found his way in over the summer before he moved on elsewhere for the winter. We haven’t seen any hedgehogs this year, but I hope they’ll find their way in again.

I know that one small garden can’t save the world, but when so many young people are struggling with climate anxiety, our garden reminds us that it’s not as hopeless as the headlines make out, that nature is abundant and generous, and that humans can live in harmony with nature. Our garden is a little sanctuary in the city where we can escape from the hustle and bustle to play, learn and grow in every sense, a place where we can enjoy the sweetness of strawberries, chase butterflies, count bees and marvel at how tiny seeds grow into tall sunflowers.

Have a lovely week. X

New Year, Same Old Me

The crossover from one year into another was gentle in our house, the kids slept right through while my husband and I started rewatching the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings (and we drew the trilogy out over the next few evenings). 2024 left me feeling a bit bruised and tender, and I wasn’t feeling celebratory on New Year’s Eve, so we saved our champagne for the evening of New Year’s Day instead.

While others are making resolutions, setting fitness goals and planning holidays, I find myself craving peace and rest after a turbulent year.

I returned to work last January after a year off on maternity leave and immediately regretted it because so many people had moved on that it was like joining a different team. I started a new job in June but it’s felt like jumping out of frying pan into the fire as it’s much busier and less specialised than I’d hoped, and certainly not the change of career I’m seeking. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring, and while it explained so many struggles I’ve had through life, it also brought a wave of fresh self doubt and regrets as well. Finally, in November, we lost our lovely cat Mara, after nine years of her companionship, and I have been struggling with grief and guilt ever since. It’s by no means the worst year I’ve endured, but it’s taken a toll on me nevertheless.

The highlights of 2024 were mostly moments with our family such as our summer holiday, visiting the Enchanted Forest and other daytrips, and just the joy and wonder of seeing our daughters grow. Our oldest turned four in February, she is so bright and confident, and she’s all set to start school in August 2025, which is as exciting as it is nerve-wracking, and will be a big adjustment for us all. Our youngest turned two in November and has become such a little chatterbox, already full of opinions, and ever eager to keep up with her big sister.

It rained all morning on New Year’s Day, but cleared up in the afternoon so we braved a wrapped up trip to Lunderston Bay for our traditional beach walk. I’ve been feeling a bit maudlin lately, and a walk on the beach was such a balm for my weary heart.

I waded into the water in my wellies, which is as close to a dash and a dook as I’ve ever gotten, but there were some other braver folk who went for a dip. As we were beach combing for shells, the sun broke through the clouds and cast a golden glow over snowy mountains in the distance, the shimmering water and the sandy shore, reminding me how grateful I am to live in such a beautiful country, and how lovely winter here can be.

We’ve filled the first few days of 2025 with play dates with our daughters’ cousins and nursery friends, swimming at the local pool and a final visit to the Winterfest to ride the carousel and Santa’s train (the helter skelter was closed due to ice!). It’s been a bit of a blur, but I’m grateful for so many of these moments of joy, laughter and connection, and hope 2025 will be full of more. It’s back to work and nursery tomorrow, but wishing everyone a belated happy New Year. X

Romjul Reflections

Finding some time after an extremely busy festive week to relax and reflect on December.

Through December, we enjoyed our oldest daughter’s nativity at nursery, and a family trip to Blair Drummond where we saw sea lions, rhinos and finally saw the two beautiful tigers. We also took the kids on the fair rides at Blair Drummond and the Christmas Market in Glasgow, with our little thrill seekers thoroughly enjoying the spinning cups, Helter Skelter, carousel and mini roller coasters.

I ended up working late on Christmas Eve due to a last minute crisis, arriving home as everyone else was finishing dinner, but just in time to put our two excited girls to bed. Before a last minute gift wrapping session, filling stockings and sorting presents into piles.

Our daughters woke up at 5.30am (as usual) and were remarkably patient as we let them watch cartoons in bed before letting them check if Santa had been and giving them their stockings to open before they woke up their grandparents and tore into the rest of their gifts.

My husband outdid himself with Christmas dinner this year, in addition to our usual Quorn roast and sage and onion stuffing, he also made a butternut squash and chestnut wellington and Yorkshire puddings (apparently a controversial choice).

After lunch, we took the kids to the park, before heading home to watch Julia Donaldson’s Tiddler and try out more of the kids’ toys and games. Gymnastics equipment, train sets and games like Pop Up Pirate have been big hits with our daughters this Christmas.

We’re still missing our little Mara so much; Christmas isn’t the same without her, she always loved the festivities from playing with tinsel and hunting for spiders in the tree to getting stuck into her stocking for new toys and treats.

Now that our extended family have gone home, I’m glad we have some time off together just the four of us to settle back into our routines and find some calm after all the excitement.

Wishing everyone all the joy and peace of the season. X

Sleep well, sweet Mara 🐾

This is a post I’ve been dreading writing for some time, but on Monday 25th November, our lovely cat Mara passed away.

It all happened so quickly that I’m still in shock. A couple of weeks ago, I’d been worried about Mara’s teeth as she’d started to become a noisy, messy and picky eater, all very out of character for our little snaffler. Unfortunately, the vet diagnosed squamous cell carcinoma, an incurable and terminal cancer of the mouth. We agreed to try pain management but even so, Mara went downhill quickly, stopped grooming and struggling to eat anything except soup.

On the morning of Monday 25th November, we called the vet to arrange having her put to sleep, because we couldn’t stand watching her waste away and prolonging her suffering. We let the kids say their goodbyes and I took Mara to the vet, while my husband took the kids to the park. I stayed with Mara to the end, who true to form was headbooping me and purring until the sedative took effect. She slipped away peacefully without a twitch or whisper, it was so peaceful for her but heartbreaking for me.

I’ve been in a fog of grief ever since, our home feels unbearably empty without her, and all our routines seem off-kilter.

Our four year old daughter has taken it well, there have been some tears but I helped her write a letter to Mara about all her favourite memories to help her remember but it is hard when she says she wishes we could visit Mara. (Same, kid.) It’s been harder to explain to our two year old who keeps asking “where’s Mara?” and looking for her around the house. We’ve spent a lot time huddled round phones looking at photos and videos of Mara. Mara was such a big character in our family that it’s hard to imagine our story continuing without her.

It’s impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t let an animal into their heart, just how much love and joy they bring to our lives and how much sorrow we feel when they pass. Mara was a resilient character who overcame more than her fair share of adversity from losing her previous owner (that led us to adopting her) and the amputation of her tail when we found a mast cell tumour on it. Mara was very much a family cat, whether stretched out on my lap or rolling on her back to let the kids tickle her tummy, she actively sought us out, and she had an enormous capacity to give and recieve affection.

I can’t think of a stress that couldn’t be soothed or a hurt that couldn’t be healed by some time snuggling with Mara. For nine years, Mara has been one of the things I’ve been most grateful for, and my world feels like a worse place without her. Yet, deep down I know she was a happy cat, we gave her a good life, and it was the kindest thing to let her go.

Sleep well, my sweet Mara. You’re part of our family and home forever. Xx

All aglow for Halloween 🎃

We ended October with our second light show, Glasglow at the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow. Glasglow has been hit and miss in previous years, but we all really enjoyed it this time around. The kids are also at an age to appreciate these kinds of events, especially with the treat of toasted marshmallows (which appears to be a staple at outdoor events now) and chips for supper.

Taking place around Halloween often means the theme has a few spooky sections, but there were only a couple of parts with clowns and skeletons that were a bit too scary for kids (and big kids like myself).

Elsewhere there were smoke-filled bubbles to pop, strings of lights changing colour in time to the music to walk through, a graveyard full of amusing epitaphs, and a walkway over the field of light, and of course, Kibble Palace itself to list our favourite parts. Just like last year, the designers had filled Kibble palace, a 19th Century glasshouse home to the national fern collection with lasers, it is a genuinely original way of using the space that delighted the kids and I’ve never seen anything like it at any other light show we’ve visited.

Back at home, I carved pumpkins for the girls’ nursery Halloween party. Our 4 year old asked for a ballerina, and our nearly two year old wanted a hedgehog, which ended up winning a prize.

It gets dark early in the autumn and winter months here in Scotland, and I really appreciate these evening events that give us a reason to wrap up and get outside for a few hours. October has been such a busy but lovely month, and Glasglow was such a fun night to round it off with. Have a lovely week. X

More Autumn Adventures 🍂

It feels like time is slipping through my fingers, this has been such a hectic year and we’re well into autumn and the ember months. The weather has cooled and the evenings are growing darker, the leaves have turned into a gorgeous array of gold, amber and scarlet, and every breeze causes a flutter of them to fall.

We had a really fun day trip to Dalkeith Country Park in Midlothian where the kids enjoyed exploring the adventure playpark and Fort Douglas with its all it’s climbing frames, bridges and slides, as well as the bouncy pillows and flying foxes. It’s a bit of a jaunt for us, but always lots of fun and great value.

We’ve been out foraging for chestnuts or conkers at our local parks, and collecting seeds, flowers and leaves for sticky pictures. We also enjoyed the loveliest walk through the woods at Rouken Glen with the kids filling their baskets with the most colourful leaves, pine cones, moss covered bark and branches covered in lichen that they could find for a little show and tell nature project at nursery.

My husband and I even managed a day out by ourselves on a bank holiday Monday at the end of September. After dropping the girls off at nursery, we drove out to Callendar for lunch, a wee browse around the Nutcracker Christmas shop and a walk up to Bracklinn Falls. The waterfall itself is actually quite hard to see from the path, and best viewed from the rocks in front of it, which are sturdy but can be a bit slippery when wet. It’s been about a decade since we last visited the falls, and was really lovely to rediscover it again after so long.

I really love living in a part of the world with such distinct seasons, and autumn is particularly lovely in Scotland. Have a lovely week. X

Mara’s Ninth Anniversary

This weekend we marked a very special celebration in our family calendar as the 11th of October marked the ninth anniversary of adopting our cat Mara from the SSPCA.

Given that we adopted Mara as an adult, I feel incredibly lucky that we’ve enjoyed so many years of her companionship, though it is frustrating not knowing exactly how old she is. Generally, she’s still in good health though her eyes have given her some trouble this year. In the summer, I’d noticed she was wincing and reluctant to open her left eye. A trip to the vet revealed she had an ulcer, requiring eyedrops and a cone to stop her scratching it. As always, she tolerated the treatment with minimum complaint, she really is the most easy-going and stoic cat ever, and the ulcer healed up quickly, though her eyes still seem a little dry and puffy but it could just be aging.

As autumn rolls around once more, we’ve settled into a cosy evening routine of putting the kids to bed then curling up on the couch with a blanket and Mara stretched out on my lap. It’s the loveliest way to unwind at the end of a busy day, and very reminiscent of all those cosy years together when it was just the three of us before the kids.

Through all the twists and turns life has taken, I can honestly say that the decision to adopt Mara has been one of the best we’ve ever made, as she has been such a steadfast and affectionate companion. I’m eternally grateful that we found Mara and really happy to have a reason to spoil her a little bit more than usual. Have a lovely week. X

Suddenly Everything

At the start of Spring, I greet every new flower like an old friend, glad to welcome them back after the long winter, they emerge one by one at first, then suddenly everything springs back to life at once filling our garden with flowers, greenery and wildlife.

This year has been a bit of a whirl so far. I returned to work in January, but almost immediately regretted it and started looking for another job. After a flurry of applications through February and interviews in March, I’m starting a new job this month. It’s a big shift as I’ve been with the same employer for eight years (give or take a year or two on maternity leave), by far the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place, but I was starting to feel a bit stuck and I’m hoping that this will be a fresh start.

At the grand old age of 40, I’ve also been diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which explains a lifetime of chronic distraction, forgetfulness, disorganisation, procrastination, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, fidgeting and even sleeping problems that have effected me for as long as I can remember. I’m part of a so called lost generation of daydreamers, chatterboxes and fidgets who were missed because we didn’t fit the stereotype of disruptive, hyperactive children at school. I’ve known something was wrong since I started working 20 years ago, I’m still learning about ADHD but it’s a relief to know there’s support and treatment options. As my husband’s also an ADHDer, it means our daughters have a greater chance of having it than not, but hopefully they will have access to support we missed out on if they need it.

Speaking of whom, our kids are keeping us busy. Our 4 year old has always been little miss independent, and our youngest is trying hard to keep up with her big sister (with all the bumps and bruises to prove it). Our house is usually filled with shrieks of giggles as they chase each other around and wrestle on the floor, with only the odd squabble to sort out. We’ve been enjoying lots of puddle walks in the rain lately, playing in the park, trips to the beach and games in the garden, our weekends have been full of birthday parties, and we’re all looking forward to our summer holiday soon.

Our lovely old cat, Mara, is well enough, though starting to look her age with bald patches over her eyes. She spends most of her day snoozing in a variety of beds scattered around the house, but she’s still full of cuddles and sprightly enough to chase the red dot and feathery wands when she feels like it.

Very much hoping things will settle and slow down in the second half of the year, but as always when life feels busy or overwhelming, I’m steadying myself by counting my blessings and focusing on the people and things that always bring me comfort and joy, my little family, our garden, and nature.