Tag: parenting

Romjul Reflections

Finding some time after an extremely busy festive week to relax and reflect on December.

Through December, we enjoyed our oldest daughter’s nativity at nursery, and a family trip to Blair Drummond where we saw sea lions, rhinos and finally saw the two beautiful tigers. We also took the kids on the fair rides at Blair Drummond and the Christmas Market in Glasgow, with our little thrill seekers thoroughly enjoying the spinning cups, Helter Skelter, carousel and mini roller coasters. 

I ended up working late on Christmas Eve due to a last minute crisis, arriving home as everyone else was finishing dinner, but just in time to put our two excited girls to bed. Before a last minute gift wrapping session, filling stockings and sorting presents into piles.

Our daughters woke up at 5.30am (as usual) and were remarkably patient as we let them watch cartoons in bed before letting them check if Santa had been and giving them their stockings to open before they woke up their grandparents and tore into the rest of their gifts.

My husband outdid himself with Christmas dinner this year, in addition to our usual Quorn roast and sage and onion stuffing, he also made a butternut squash and chestnut wellington and Yorkshire puddings (apparently a controversial choice).

After lunch, we took the kids to the park, before heading home to watch Julia Donaldson’s Tiddler and try out more of the kids’ toys and games. Gymnastics equipment, train sets and games like Pop Up Pirate have been big hits with our daughters this Christmas.

We’re still missing our little Mara so much; Christmas isn’t the same without her, she always loved the festivities from playing with tinsel and hunting for spiders in the tree to getting stuck into her stocking for new toys and treats. 

Now that our extended family have gone home, I’m glad we have some time off together just the four of us to settle back into our routines and find some calm after all the excitement.

Wishing everyone all the joy and peace of the season. X

Suddenly Everything

At the start of Spring, I greet every new flower like an old friend, glad to welcome them back after the long winter, they emerge one by one at first, then suddenly everything springs back to life at once filling our garden with flowers, greenery and wildlife.

This year has been a bit of a whirl so far. I returned to work in January, but almost immediately regretted it and started looking for another job. After a flurry of applications through February and interviews in March, I’m starting a new job this month. It’s a big shift as I’ve been with the same employer for eight years (give or take a year or two on maternity leave), by far the longest I’ve ever stayed in one place, but I was starting to feel a bit stuck and I’m hoping that this will be a fresh start.

At the grand old age of 40, I’ve also been diagnosed with combined type ADHD, which explains a lifetime of chronic distraction, forgetfulness, disorganisation, procrastination, impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, fidgeting and even sleeping problems that have effected me for as long as I can remember. I’m part of a so called lost generation of daydreamers, chatterboxes and fidgets who were missed because we didn’t fit the stereotype of disruptive, hyperactive children at school. I’ve known something was wrong since I started working 20 years ago, I’m still learning about ADHD but it’s a relief to know there’s support and treatment options. As my husband’s also an ADHDer, it means our daughters have a greater chance of having it than not, but hopefully they will have access to support we missed out on if they need it.

Speaking of whom, our kids are keeping us busy. Our 4 year old has always been little miss independent, and our youngest is trying hard to keep up with her big sister (with all the bumps and bruises to prove it). Our house is usually filled with shrieks of giggles as they chase each other around and wrestle on the floor, with only the odd squabble to sort out. We’ve been enjoying lots of puddle walks in the rain lately, playing in the park, trips to the beach and games in the garden, our weekends have been full of birthday parties, and we’re all looking forward to our summer holiday soon.

Our lovely old cat, Mara, is well enough, though starting to look her age with bald patches over her eyes. She spends most of her day snoozing in a variety of beds scattered around the house, but she’s still full of cuddles and sprightly enough to chase the red dot and feathery wands when she feels like it.

Very much hoping things will settle and slow down in the second half of the year, but as always when life feels busy or overwhelming, I’m steadying myself by counting my blessings and focusing on the people and things that always bring me comfort and joy, my little family, our garden, and nature.

Have a lovely week. X

November Reading Wrapup

My library requests arrived early so read mostly Christmas stories in November, which worked out well as it was a cold, frosty and dark month that definitely felt more wintry than autumnal.

The Christmas Bookshop by Jenny Colgan

I’ve been feeling oddly nostalgic for the years I spent working in a bookshop, though romance is a genre I’ve overlooked but this appealed to me because it reminded me of how my own husband and I met in a bookshop. The Christmas Bookshop defied all my expectations, it’s so much more then a romance, with a much greater focus on family relationships and personal agency than romance. When the department store Carmen has worked at since school closes down, she moves to Edinburgh with her over achieving, perfectionist older sister, Sofia, and starts working at a failing bookshop with the eccentric and reclusive owner. In many ways, this story feels like a love letter to Edinburgh with its idiosyncratic architecture and town planning, and I have to agree the Scottish capital is particularly enchanting around Christmas. I loved this story from start to end, and I can’t wait to read more by Jenny Colgan.

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Milly Johnson

The Christmas Bookshop was always going to be a hard book to follow and this didn’t hit the mark for me. It follows six people who are snowed in at an abandoned inn in the middle of nowhere: there’s the couple who met at the wrong time in their lives and had a roller-coaster romance reuniting only to sign their divorce papers, the PA with a crush on her oblivious boss, and an aging gay couple celebrating one last Christmas together after one of them receives a terminal diagnosis. This is full of festive atmosphere but it’s a very slow burn romance and I was disappointed when the couple I was rooting for didn’t end up together and the heroine I really hoped would move on ended up with her love interest whose rapid realisation and personality change just didn’t ring true for me.

The Christmas Sisters by Sarah Morgan

This was more of a family drama than a romance, which was just as well as the romantic subplots all fell flat for me, but I was swept up in the McBride family’s Christmas reunion as all three sisters return home for the first time in years. There’s ambitious, successful and emotionally reserved Hannah, Beth who feels overwhelmed and lost in motherhood but feels guilty about wanting to return to work, and finally the most open and adventurous sister, Posy, who has never left home for fear of letting her parents down. This was an enjoyable read but quite cheesy and the personal and romantic dilemmas were all resolved a bit too easily.

The Deal of a Lifetime by Fredrik Backman

Having read and loved Fredrik Backman’s Beartown, I’ve been eager to read his other works but given the heavy topics he usually covers, I knew better than to expect his Christmas story to be cosy and heartwarming. The Deal of a Lifetime is a very short but haunting story about a man grappling with living and dying, his fear of death and his quest to build a legacy that will live on after him, until he has to choose whether to do something truly selfless even if no one else will ever know about it.

The Power of Showing Up by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

I ended the month by finishing a parenting book that I’ve been dipping in and out of for a few months. The Power of Showing Up takes a look at how to build a secure attachment with your children, explaining attachment theory and attachment disorders, before breaking down how to build a secure attachment at any age into four specific steps. I really enjoyed the informative and practical approach this book took to a topic that overlaps my personal and professional life.

Have a lovely week. X

A Little Big Birthday

This week has been a big one in our little family as we celebrated our youngest daughter’s first birthday. We had a little party at home with her grandparents, she needed a bit of help to blow out the candle on her cake, but enjoyed chasing the balloons, unwrapping her presents and playing with her new toys.

In many ways she still seems like a baby, but in other ways she’s grown and changed so much in such a short time. In the last couple of weeks, she’s taken her first wobbly, wide-legged steps (though she still prefers to crawl most of the time), and shouts “Mara” whenever she sees our cat (and sometimes at dogs and squirrels too). She’s a curious, little explorer, who is usually into every unlocked cupboard and drawer while I try to keep up with the housework, and she’s covered in bumps and bruises from tumbling around, but she loves anything noisy or musical and playing peekaboo.

Our youngest adores her big sister and follows her around trying to join in with whatever her sister is doing, often wrecking the game in the process. For her part, our oldest has also taken the adjustment from only to oldest in her stride with only the odd wobble, and we’ve been so proud to see what a generous and fun big sister she’s become. It’s not always easy juggling the needs of two young children, but it’s definitely worth it, and I’m so grateful for it all.

Have a lovely week. X

July Reading WrapUp

Sharing my reading wrapup very late as we’re all recovering from a bad cold that floored us for a week. July was a slow month for reading but I thoroughly enjoyed the three books I did manage to read.

Magic Lessons by Alice Hoffman

Magic Lessons was everything I hoped for in a prequel to Practical Magic (reviewed here) going back to tell the story of Maria the founding matriarch of the Owens family and the curse she cast to protect her descendents that ripples through the generations ever after. I absolutely adored Magic Lessons and found it gripping, heartbreaking and enchanting. Magic Lessons is a story of mothers and daughters, love and heartbreak, witchcraft and witch trials.

No Drama Discipline by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

I’d struggled a bit with The Whole Brain Child last year but decided to give this a try, and found it so much easier to understand and apply. Complex neuroscience is broken down into easy to grasp concepts about how to shape a child’s developing brain to teach them emotional regulation, morality, empathy and problem solving skills. No Drama Discipline is full of real examples of how to apply the whole brain discipline techniques that takes a contextual but long term approach to parenting, building a loving connection with your child and coaxing collaboration, though my personal favourite example was what to do when you’ve tried everything and none of it works.

The Book of Magic by Alice Hoffman

The bittersweet conclusion to the Owens family saga that ties all the threads together as Sally, Gillian, Franny, Jet and Vincent all work together to end the curse that Maria Owens cast over 400 years ago. I have loved this series so much and this was such a wonderful ending reuniting all the characters and introducing some new ones too that kept me hooked from start to finish.

Have a lovely weekend. X

Bedtime Stories: Julia Donaldson

I’ve been meaning to write another post about the stories I’ve been reading with my oldest daughter, and decided to focus on some of the wonderful stories by Julia Donaldson we’ve enjoyed together.

The Gruffalo and The Gruffalo’s Child

The Gruffalo is a modern classic picture book about a little mouse who out wits all the creatures in a forest that want to eat him, including the fearsome Gruffalo. A wonderful story about how being small doesn’t mean being helpless which is an important message for children.

I’ve written about The Gruffalo’s Child before as it was one of the first stories my oldest daughter showed an interest in and one that she still requests from time to time. In the sequel, the Gruffalo’s daughter ventures into the deep, dark wood to see if she can find the big bad mouse her father warned her about, and once again the cunning little mouse has to outsmart a bigger creature.

Room on the Broom

Another old favourite that my oldest daughter knows off by heart and we take turns to read/recite a line from start to end. Room on the Broom is the story of a witch who is always losing her belongings but who makes friends with all the creatures that help her find them again. I love the themes of kindness, helping each other and teamwork in this story.

The Snail and The Whale

This is another lovely story about a little Sea Snail that wants to travel the world and has the chance to do so on the tail of a humpback Whale. A recurring theme in this and The Gruffalo is that being small doesn’t mean being helpless, and it’s the determined and clever, little snail that ends up saving the whale’s life.

Zog and Zog and The Flying Doctors

A dragon called Zog is learning all the skills he needs to know at dragon school and is repeatedly helped by a girl who turns out to a Princess. In a clever reversal to the usual fairytale, Princess Pearl aspires to be a Doctor instead, which is a really inspiring message for girls in particular.

In the sequel, Zog and the Flying Doctors travel around helping different creatures who all have the chance to return the favour and help Princess Pearl later on. Of all the stories we have by Julia Donaldson, I think these two are my favourites with themes of perseverance, friendship and kindness.

Stickman

Stickman goes out one morning and then finds himself lost and far from home as different people and animals mistake him for a stick and use him for everything from playing fetch with a dog to building a nest. Stickman is a heartwarming story about never giving up no matter how hopeless things seem, but I tend to save this one for Christmas as Santa Claus shows up at the end.

The Princess and The Wizard

Finally, I wanted to mention The Princess and The Wizard as it was one of the first books my oldest daughter chose (no doubt drawn to it by the pink cover with a Princess) after she got her own library card and we’ve borrowed it a few times since. It’s a story about a Princess who is kidnapped by an evil wizard on her 7th birthday and the seven attempts she makes to escape by changing her colour and changing her shape. Another encouraging story about how determination and cleverness can overcome a more powerful enemy.

Have a lovely week. X

Bedtime Stories

Even though my own reading progress has been slow and sporadic this year, I’ve been reading much more consistently with our 3 year old daughter who loves her bedtime stories and we usually read at least two but often four or more picture books together every evening and wanted to share some of our current favourites.

A Dress With Pockets by Lily Murray, illustrated by Jenny Lovlie

This is a mostly rhyming story about a little girl called Lucy choosing a new dress for her birthday who eschews a dazzling choice of sparkles, frills, feathers and everything in between for a dress with pockets to store all the curious things she finds on her adventures. We love this story because much like Lucy, my daughter loves dresses but couldn’t be less prissy and enjoys exploring on her own little adventures.

‘A Home’ Series by Peter Bently, illustrated by Charles Fuge

A trilogy of books about a badger called Bramble and his friends, I found the first one in the library then bought the whole series second hand. These are lovely rhyming stories about kindness and friends helping each other out from investigating when the local river runs dry to inviting his friends to stay when a storm wrecks their dens and celebrating birthdays together.

Bunny’s Book Club by Annie Silvestro, illustrated by Tatjana Mai-Wyss

A cute and cosy story about a bunny who loves reading so much that he starts sneaking into the library every night to borrow books, before long he starts including his animal friends in his after dark heists until one evening the librarian catches them in the act.

Where Happiness Lives by Barry Timms, illustrated by Greg Abbot

Another rhyming story of three little mice who all live in very different homes from a little cottage to a huge mansion, and the risk of assuming that bigger must be better. Where Happiness Lives is a really lovely story that reminds us to appreciate what we have and to avoid comparing, a message that feels so important to learn early in the era of social media.

Usborne Farmyard Tales ‘Poppy and Sam’ Series, illustrated by Stephen Cartwright

A simple series about two children, Poppy and Sam, who live on Appletree farm with their parents, Ted the farmhand and a range of farm animals from their pets Rusty the dog and Whiskers the Cat to Curly the piglet and, my daughter’s favourite, Woolly the naughty sheep, and all the little adventures they have together.

Our 5 month daughter also likes stories, and we’ve enjoyed a few stories together including books from her baby box, as well as a few That’s Not My, lift the flap and board books she got for Christmas too.

I really love reading bedtime stories together, it’s a lovely activity to help our boisterous oldest girl calm down before bed, and often one of the highlights of my day. I’ve loved discovering so many new stories with both my girls and look forward to sharing more of our favourites soon. Have a lovely week. X

January Reading Wrapup

I’m off to a slow start with my reading this year as broken sleep and back-to-back illnesses sapped my energy and attention, so only managed to read 3 books last month, but thoroughly enjoyed them all from two very different parenting books and the eagerly awaited sequel to the brilliant Ninth House that was definitely worth the wait.

How Toddlers Thrive by Tovah Klein

This book focuses on children between the ages of 2-5 years old and really changed my understanding of what motivates toddlers and how they think, feel and perceive the world, which in turn changed how I respond to my own toddler’s behaviour. As is often the case, there are some suggestions for parenting that we’re already doing but it contradicted some of the others ways my husband and I parent our daughters. It also turns some ideas on their head by suggesting that our job as parents is not to make our children happy but to help them learn how to cope with uncomfortable emotions like anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness and fear in order to develop emotional regulation, resilience and flexibility. Klein stresses the importance of realistic expectations for children in this age range, as well as the importance of routines, consistency and learning through play. How Toddlers Thrive is a really interesting and useful book and definitely one I’ll be referring to again over the next few years while we navigate the early years with our girls.

Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo

My most anticipated book of 2023 and I started reading this as soon as it dropped through the letterbox. Reading Hell Bent was like meeting up with old friends, I loved exploring the Yale campus with Alex, Dawes and Detective Turner as they tried to find a way to rescue their friend and mentor, Darlington from Hell. Alex finds herself surrounded by new and old enemies, and as morally ambivalent as ever she’s more haunted by the lives she couldn’t save than the ones she has taken. Although I didn’t find the twists quite as clever or unpredictable as those in Ninth House, Hell Bent is still a gripping, atmospheric read that adds new layers and details to the original, especially about Alex’s powers to communicate with the dead and the history of Yale’s secret societies, and the ending sets the scene for the next part of the series. This has become one of my favourite series and I really can’t wait to see what happens next.

The Unmumsy Mum by Sarah Turner

This is the type of parenting book I usually avoid preferring those based on child development to those that are anecdotal and personal, but I borrowed the ebook late one night while feeding the baby and it made me laugh out loud so many times. Sarah Turner takes an unflinching look at the realities of parenting from breastfeeding and sleep deprivation to mum guilt and so many other aspects of life with young children. The Unmumsy Mum is such an easy to read, relatable, humourous, poignant handhold of a book for anyone that loves their kids but doesn’t love every moment of parenting.

I also had a DNF, The Ballad of Never After, the sequel to Once Upon A Broken Heart, I enjoyed the first book but the sequel just didn’t hold my attention and I gave up at page 134.

Have a lovely week. X

Slow Down and Coorie In

While the natural world is slowing down in preparation for winter and hibernation, it feels like family life has sped up as we prepare for our imminent new arrival. This summer and autumn have been slightly bittersweet, the excitement of our second child has been tempered by nerves about how our firstborn will cope with the transition from only to oldest, and we’ve been trying to give our daughter as much time and attention as we can, filling the last few months with experiences and memories.

We’ve been doing lots of baking together, we’ve finally tried out the bundt cake tin my husband bought me for Christmas to make a ginger cake; a spiced pumpkin loaf to rival anything you could get from Starbucks at this time of year; banana bread whenever we need to use up browning bananas; and our Christmas cake – using a recipe from the BeRo recipe book passed down from my late nanna to my mum and now to me; and whenever we’re feeling lazy and want a quick treat, we make chocolate rice crisp cakes. I have fond memories of baking with my own mum (mostly apple pies and jam tarts), and I’m really enjoying baking with my daughter, she’s a great little helper pouring and mixing the ingredients.

We’ve lit the fire on cold mornings and evenings, and spent rainy afternoons snuggled on the couch under blankets with the cat on my lap watching Disney films from classic animations like The Aristocats to more recent additions like Moana and Encanto, rediscovering some of my old favourites like Robin Hood and Lilo and Stitch along the way. We’ve also had craft sessions around the dining table, painting, handprinting and shaping playdough.

There’s been plenty of time outside too, admiring the autumn scenery on nature walks collecting pocketfuls of conkers and crisp leaves or splashing through puddles. I even found a fly agaric mushroom under one of the beech trees in our street. We had a lovely wander around the gardens at Pollok Country Park a little while ago, where the masses of kale, chard, pumpkins and whole greenhouses full of chilli plants in the kitchen garden gave me a serious dose of envy. The little one loved exploring the little fairy village there too.

It hasn’t been all fun and games though, the start of my maternity leave coincided with my daughter developing Croup, and there were a couple of trips to hospital for steroids, which was scary for all of us. Our second trip to the hospital was the same day we were supposed to go to the Enchanted Forest in Pitlochry, an annual tradition that I’ve really missed during the pandemic and something we’d been looking forward to, but it’s such a relief to see our little girl getting better and back to her boisterous self. Maybe next year…

We did have a surprise trip to Edinburgh that my husband booked to make up for missing the Enchanted Forest. We enjoyed evening and morning dips in the hotel pool, dinner and breakfast at the restaurant, but the real highlight was a morning trip to Portobello beach just 5 minutes away from the hotel, where we took a wander along the shore shrouded in a thick mist, chased each other across the sand, splashed in the waves and combed the beach for tiny treasures.

Between finishing up at work, taking care of our toddler and preparing for a new baby, I haven’t had much time to rest or relax and I’ve felt a bit like a leaf swirling in the wind as I’ve been pulled in different directions, but unusually for us we don’t have much planned for the winter months and I’m hoping we can all slow down and coorie-in. Take care and have a lovely week. X

April & May Reading Wrapup

Reading fell by the wayside during April and I only managed to finish one book so decided to tack that review onto my May wrapup, but hoping I can catch up over the next few months and still reach my target by the end of the year.

How to Be A Calm Parent by Sarah Ockwell-Smith

Much like Philippa Perry’s The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (reviewed here), How to Be A Calm Parent challenges the reader to reflect on how their own childhood experiences influence their parenting style and the way they react to their own children’s behaviour. Sarah Ockwell-Smith takes a holistic look at the different stresses that impacts our parenting from a lack of support for parents to financial worries as well as perfectionism and comparisons. I found this book so relatable, and really appreciated when the writer openly shared her own struggles not to shout at her kids when she feels stressed and overwhelmed, as I actually picked up this book after one of the most challenging days me and my daughter have ever had together, full of tears, tantrums, shouting and eventually a lot of cuddles, and it was just the reassuring, reflective and inspiring book I needed.

The Last Bear by Hannah Gold

This was such a lovely, gentle story to lift me out of my reading slump. The Last Bear follows 11 year old April as she travels with her meteorologist father to Bear Island (near Svalbard) to study the effects of climate change. Left to explore the island while her dad works, she finds an unlikely friend in the form of a stranded polar bear. This children’s story is so full of universal and vital themes from grief, loneliness and friendship to climate change and nature, but despite the seriousness of the subject and the very real threats facing our planet, The Last Bear offers such a hopeful message that even one person can make a difference.

Rebel Skies by Ann Sei Linn

This is one of those awkward stories that I liked but didn’t love. Set in a world where Crafters can control origami creations, and where Shikigami (wild origami creatures) wreak havoc, a young woman called Kurara with crafting powers is rescued from a life of servitude and plunged into the battle between the sky-sailing Shikigami hunters and the Imperial family that seek to control the Shikigami to hold and expand their Empire. Rebel Skies is an action-packed fantasy adventure set in a whimsical world that reminded me a lot of Studio Ghibli films with plenty of mystery surrounding the main characters to keep you hooked.

King of Scars by Leigh Bardugo

Leigh Bardugo has become one of my favourite writers, but having read her Grishaverse novels out of order (I started with the Six of Crows duology and only went back to read the Shadow and Bone trilogy last year before the Netflix series came out), I can see how much she has grown and developed as a writer. King of Scars follows my two favourite characters from the Shadow and Bone trilogy, the powerful Grisha General Zoya and the charming King Nikolai as they try to hold Ravka together as enemies from within and outside threaten to tear it apart, and start investigating mysterious and miraculous events occuring around the country. The story also follows one of the Crows, Nina, as she travels undercover through the country of Fjerda (where Grisha are persecuted) trying to locate and help other Grisha escape torture, imprisonment and execution, and learns more about her own powers in the process. I loved returning to the Grishaverse and getting to know the three protagonists better; King of Scars is a gripping fantasy full of suspense, action, slow burn romances, clever twists and cleverer cons, and I can’t wait to read the final part of this duology.

October, October by Katya Balen

This children’s story follows a little girl called October who lives happily with her father in the forest until her 11th birthday when a terrible tragedy changes both their lives. Written from October’s perspective, she’s a fascinating and utterly compelling narrator, and this reminded me a little of Roald Dahl’s Danny the Champion of the World and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. October, October is a poignant and captivating story about change, estrangement and reunion, secrets and stories, and nature.

What have you been reading lately? Have a lovely week. X