New Year, Same Old Me

The crossover from one year into another was gentle in our house, the kids slept right through while my husband and I started rewatching the extended editions of The Lord of the Rings (and we drew the trilogy out over the next few evenings). 2024 left me feeling a bit bruised and tender, and I wasn’t feeling celebratory on New Year’s Eve, so we saved our champagne for the evening of New Year’s Day instead.

While others are making resolutions, setting fitness goals and planning holidays, I find myself craving peace and rest after a turbulent year.

I returned to work last January after a year off on maternity leave and immediately regretted it because so many people had moved on that it was like joining a different team. I started a new job in June but it’s felt like jumping out of frying pan into the fire as it’s much busier and less specialised than I’d hoped, and certainly not the change of career I’m seeking. I was diagnosed with ADHD in the spring, and while it explained so many struggles I’ve had through life, it also brought a wave of fresh self doubt and regrets as well. Finally, in November, we lost our lovely cat Mara, after nine years of her companionship, and I have been struggling with grief and guilt ever since. It’s by no means the worst year I’ve endured, but it’s taken a toll on me nevertheless.

The highlights of 2024 were mostly moments with our family such as our summer holiday, visiting the Enchanted Forest and other daytrips, and just the joy and wonder of seeing our daughters grow. Our oldest turned four in February, she is so bright and confident, and she’s all set to start school in August 2025, which is as exciting as it is nerve-wracking, and will be a big adjustment for us all. Our youngest turned two in November and has become such a little chatterbox, already full of opinions, and ever eager to keep up with her big sister.

It rained all morning on New Year’s Day, but cleared up in the afternoon so we braved a wrapped up trip to Lunderston Bay for our traditional beach walk. I’ve been feeling a bit maudlin lately, and a walk on the beach was such a balm for my weary heart.

I waded into the water in my wellies, which is as close to a dash and a dook as I’ve ever gotten, but there were some other braver folk who went for a dip. As we were beach combing for shells, the sun broke through the clouds and cast a golden glow over snowy mountains in the distance, the shimmering water and the sandy shore, reminding me how grateful I am to live in such a beautiful country, and how lovely winter here can be.

We’ve filled the first few days of 2025 with play dates with our daughters’ cousins and nursery friends, swimming at the local pool and a final visit to the Winterfest to ride the carousel and Santa’s train (the helter skelter was closed due to ice!). It’s been a bit of a blur, but I’m grateful for so many of these moments of joy, laughter and connection, and hope 2025 will be full of more. It’s back to work and nursery tomorrow, but wishing everyone a belated happy New Year. X

Romjul Reflections

Finding some time after an extremely busy festive week to relax and reflect on December.

Through December, we enjoyed our oldest daughter’s nativity at nursery, and a family trip to Blair Drummond where we saw sea lions, rhinos and finally saw the two beautiful tigers. We also took the kids on the fair rides at Blair Drummond and the Christmas Market in Glasgow, with our little thrill seekers thoroughly enjoying the spinning cups, Helter Skelter, carousel and mini roller coasters.

I ended up working late on Christmas Eve due to a last minute crisis, arriving home as everyone else was finishing dinner, but just in time to put our two excited girls to bed. Before a last minute gift wrapping session, filling stockings and sorting presents into piles.

Our daughters woke up at 5.30am (as usual) and were remarkably patient as we let them watch cartoons in bed before letting them check if Santa had been and giving them their stockings to open before they woke up their grandparents and tore into the rest of their gifts.

My husband outdid himself with Christmas dinner this year, in addition to our usual Quorn roast and sage and onion stuffing, he also made a butternut squash and chestnut wellington and Yorkshire puddings (apparently a controversial choice).

After lunch, we took the kids to the park, before heading home to watch Julia Donaldson’s Tiddler and try out more of the kids’ toys and games. Gymnastics equipment, train sets and games like Pop Up Pirate have been big hits with our daughters this Christmas.

We’re still missing our little Mara so much; Christmas isn’t the same without her, she always loved the festivities from playing with tinsel and hunting for spiders in the tree to getting stuck into her stocking for new toys and treats.

Now that our extended family have gone home, I’m glad we have some time off together just the four of us to settle back into our routines and find some calm after all the excitement.

Wishing everyone all the joy and peace of the season. X

Sleep well, sweet Mara 🐾

This is a post I’ve been dreading writing for some time, but on Monday 25th November, our lovely cat Mara passed away.

It all happened so quickly that I’m still in shock. A couple of weeks ago, I’d been worried about Mara’s teeth as she’d started to become a noisy, messy and picky eater, all very out of character for our little snaffler. Unfortunately, the vet diagnosed squamous cell carcinoma, an incurable and terminal cancer of the mouth. We agreed to try pain management but even so, Mara went downhill quickly, stopped grooming and struggling to eat anything except soup.

On the morning of Monday 25th November, we called the vet to arrange having her put to sleep, because we couldn’t stand watching her waste away and prolonging her suffering. We let the kids say their goodbyes and I took Mara to the vet, while my husband took the kids to the park. I stayed with Mara to the end, who true to form was headbooping me and purring until the sedative took effect. She slipped away peacefully without a twitch or whisper, it was so peaceful for her but heartbreaking for me.

I’ve been in a fog of grief ever since, our home feels unbearably empty without her, and all our routines seem off-kilter.

Our four year old daughter has taken it well, there have been some tears but I helped her write a letter to Mara about all her favourite memories to help her remember but it is hard when she says she wishes we could visit Mara. (Same, kid.) It’s been harder to explain to our two year old who keeps asking “where’s Mara?” and looking for her around the house. We’ve spent a lot time huddled round phones looking at photos and videos of Mara. Mara was such a big character in our family that it’s hard to imagine our story continuing without her.

It’s impossible to explain to anyone who hasn’t let an animal into their heart, just how much love and joy they bring to our lives and how much sorrow we feel when they pass. Mara was a resilient character who overcame more than her fair share of adversity from losing her previous owner (that led us to adopting her) and the amputation of her tail when we found a mast cell tumour on it. Mara was very much a family cat, whether stretched out on my lap or rolling on her back to let the kids tickle her tummy, she actively sought us out, and she had an enormous capacity to give and recieve affection.

I can’t think of a stress that couldn’t be soothed or a hurt that couldn’t be healed by some time snuggling with Mara. For nine years, Mara has been one of the things I’ve been most grateful for, and my world feels like a worse place without her. Yet, deep down I know she was a happy cat, we gave her a good life, and it was the kindest thing to let her go.

Sleep well, my sweet Mara. You’re part of our family and home forever. Xx

All aglow for Halloween 🎃

We ended October with our second light show, Glasglow at the Botanic Gardens in Glasgow. Glasglow has been hit and miss in previous years, but we all really enjoyed it this time around. The kids are also at an age to appreciate these kinds of events, especially with the treat of toasted marshmallows (which appears to be a staple at outdoor events now) and chips for supper.

Taking place around Halloween often means the theme has a few spooky sections, but there were only a couple of parts with clowns and skeletons that were a bit too scary for kids (and big kids like myself).

Elsewhere there were smoke-filled bubbles to pop, strings of lights changing colour in time to the music to walk through, a graveyard full of amusing epitaphs, and a walkway over the field of light, and of course, Kibble Palace itself to list our favourite parts. Just like last year, the designers had filled Kibble palace, a 19th Century glasshouse home to the national fern collection with lasers, it is a genuinely original way of using the space that delighted the kids and I’ve never seen anything like it at any other light show we’ve visited.

Back at home, I carved pumpkins for the girls’ nursery Halloween party. Our 4 year old asked for a ballerina, and our nearly two year old wanted a hedgehog, which ended up winning a prize.

It gets dark early in the autumn and winter months here in Scotland, and I really appreciate these evening events that give us a reason to wrap up and get outside for a few hours. October has been such a busy but lovely month, and Glasglow was such a fun night to round it off with. Have a lovely week. X

More Autumn Adventures 🍂

It feels like time is slipping through my fingers, this has been such a hectic year and we’re well into autumn and the ember months. The weather has cooled and the evenings are growing darker, the leaves have turned into a gorgeous array of gold, amber and scarlet, and every breeze causes a flutter of them to fall.

We had a really fun day trip to Dalkeith Country Park in Midlothian where the kids enjoyed exploring the adventure playpark and Fort Douglas with its all it’s climbing frames, bridges and slides, as well as the bouncy pillows and flying foxes. It’s a bit of a jaunt for us, but always lots of fun and great value.

We’ve been out foraging for chestnuts or conkers at our local parks, and collecting seeds, flowers and leaves for sticky pictures. We also enjoyed the loveliest walk through the woods at Rouken Glen with the kids filling their baskets with the most colourful leaves, pine cones, moss covered bark and branches covered in lichen that they could find for a little show and tell nature project at nursery.

My husband and I even managed a day out by ourselves on a bank holiday Monday at the end of September. After dropping the girls off at nursery, we drove out to Callendar for lunch, a wee browse around the Nutcracker Christmas shop and a walk up to Bracklinn Falls. The waterfall itself is actually quite hard to see from the path, and best viewed from the rocks in front of it, which are sturdy but can be a bit slippery when wet. It’s been about a decade since we last visited the falls, and was really lovely to rediscover it again after so long.

I really love living in a part of the world with such distinct seasons, and autumn is particularly lovely in Scotland. Have a lovely week. X

An Enchanted Adventure

October has been a beautiful month with the trees all putting on a glorious show of colours before they shed their leaves. One of the highlights of the month for us is always a trip up to Pitlochry to wander around our favourite light show, the Enchanted Forest.

This year has been particularly hectic for my husband and I with lots of work changes and stresses, so instead of a single night, we decided to make a weekend of it and booked a lodge at Moness in Aberfeldy. Of course, travelling with two little kids is never as peaceful or relaxing as we imagine, but we all had fun.

The Enchanted Forest is such a long standing tradition of ours and we’ve had so many different experiences here at different points in our relationship from getting engaged here 11 years ago, returning as newlyweds a month after our wedding to now sharing the excitement with our little daughters.

The Enchanted Forest was really wonderful this year, the theme was Symphony of Nature, and it had some really beautiful and impressive features. It was a late night for our little girls but both really enjoyed it, especially with the treat of chips for dinner and a toasted marshmallow afterwards.

In contrast to last year, when the kids didn’t really want to stand still and preferred the interactive parts, our favourite parts of the show were the sections over Loch Faskally with a display projected over the water, and another part with beautiful fountains of water all illuminated. Our youngest also loved wandering across the sparkly bridge and finding all the frogs hiding in the forest.

Moness Resort was a great place to stay, we woke to the excitement of ducks quacking at our windows demanding breakfast every morning, before enjoying an early swim in the pool we early risers had all to ourselves. It was a lovely weekend adventure, but I’m glad to be safe and cosy at home while the winds howl, rain patters against the window and Storm Ashley rages outside. Have a lovely week. X

Mara’s Ninth Anniversary

This weekend we marked a very special celebration in our family calendar as the 11th of October marked the ninth anniversary of adopting our cat Mara from the SSPCA.

Given that we adopted Mara as an adult, I feel incredibly lucky that we’ve enjoyed so many years of her companionship, though it is frustrating not knowing exactly how old she is. Generally, she’s still in good health though her eyes have given her some trouble this year. In the summer, I’d noticed she was wincing and reluctant to open her left eye. A trip to the vet revealed she had an ulcer, requiring eyedrops and a cone to stop her scratching it. As always, she tolerated the treatment with minimum complaint, she really is the most easy-going and stoic cat ever, and the ulcer healed up quickly, though her eyes still seem a little dry and puffy but it could just be aging.

As autumn rolls around once more, we’ve settled into a cosy evening routine of putting the kids to bed then curling up on the couch with a blanket and Mara stretched out on my lap. It’s the loveliest way to unwind at the end of a busy day, and very reminiscent of all those cosy years together when it was just the three of us before the kids.

Through all the twists and turns life has taken, I can honestly say that the decision to adopt Mara has been one of the best we’ve ever made, as she has been such a steadfast and affectionate companion. I’m eternally grateful that we found Mara and really happy to have a reason to spoil her a little bit more than usual. Have a lovely week. X

Autumn Equinox in the Garden

After a week of warmth and sunshine, there’s a nip in the air and the garden has definitely gone over. As today is the autumn Equinox, it seems like a good time to share a long overdue update on our garden.

It’s been a patchy summer here in the West of Scotland, seems like we never had more than a couple of days of sunshine and warmth before being soaked by another deluge of rain. Most of the veg I sowed struggled in the cool, wet weather, though the kids have enjoyed eating peas fresh from the pod, and I’m still hopeful the tomatoes will ripen before the first frost.

Growing fruit has been much more successful. We picked bowlfuls of strawberries all through June, a handful of cherries from a dwarf tree, we got about twelve sweet and juicy plums from the Victoria plum tree, and we had enough rhubarb and apples to bake a pie (with lots of apples still to pick).

This year, we’ve let the ground along the fence grow wild, while the climbing roses, clematis and apple trees establish themselves. The long border pretty much takes care of itself, though I want to divide the geraniums and move some to the front garden. It’s been my best year for sunflowers, they grew tall and flowered despite the weather.

It’s not all been good in the garden as we’ve only seen sparrow and starling fledglings, and after noticing that we hadn’t seen the Robin or Blue Tits around for a while, we checked their nests and found both abandoned. I fear one of the neighbourhood cats either got one of the parents or scared them off as all the Tits and Robins stopped visiting the garden for a while. This loss was counterbalanced somewhat by the arrival of a hoglet that has moved in and built a nest inside the little brick house we put together for it, and appears every evening for his supper of wet cat food and hedgehog food. Watching our resident hedgehog scurry around in the evenings is more entertaining than TV.

The biggest change was removing the bamboo, which provided an excellent screen but was an environmental deadzone with nothing but a few spiders inhabiting it, and I’m planning to plant a couple of trees there instead.

Our garden is such a wild clash of ideas, but it is also the best antidote I know to the almost constant climate doomism that pervades the news. I really love seeing how excited the kids are when picking fresh food from the garden, and it’s an easy way of helping them to connect with nature and learn about so many environmental issues. It is our little haven, surprisingly calm and private, in the bustling city. Have a lovely week. X

An Erinaceous Update 🦔

I’ve always been delighted by how much wildlife there is in our urban garden from bees and hover flies to sparrows and blue tits, but nothing causes quite as much excitement as spotting a hedgehog. Just over a week ago, we drew the living room curtains to find a little hedgehog hastily gathering leaves to make a nest under the pallet woodshed.

The very same day, I took the girls to the pet shop to buy some hedgehog food and my husband built a little hedgehog house out of spare bricks and a paving slab, and we were delighted to see the hedgehog shuffle inside just as dawn broke the next day. We also set up a little motion sensor camera to watch him without disturbing him, and spotted the mouse that also lives in the woodshed nabbing some food.

Small, shy and very skittish, catching a glimpse of our little Tiggywinks has been the highlight of my evening every night for the last week. We think it’s a male and probably born this year judging by his size, so I’m hoping between the food we leave out and all the insects in our garden, he’ll put on enough weight to survive the winter. Given the decline in hedgehog numbers across Britain, I’m happy to help any that find their way into our garden, but we try not to disturb him too much.

Leaving food and water for the hedgehog has quickly become part of our little daughters’ bedtime routine even though they’re both fast asleep by the time he emerges, and he’s usually in his own bed just before our early risers wake.

I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of watching hedgehogs snuffle and shuffle around the garden, perhaps because they’re nocturnal and increasingly rare, there is almost something magical about them. Have a lovely week. X

A stroll along Seamill Beach

Though I’ve lived in the West of Scotland for most of my life (with the exception of four very happy years as an undergrad in Aberdeen), I’m still exploring my country and finding new places.

When we found ourselves with a free Saturday that also happened to be gloriously warm and sunny, we decided to have a day trip to the beach that a former colleague had mentioned. Seamill is a lovely sandy beach peppered with rocky outcrops on the Ayrshire coast with an impressive view of the Isle of Arran across the sea.

As the tide was receding when we arrived, our daughters had a little splash and paddle in the sea but we spent most of our time exploring the rock pools as they became accessible. My husband was in his element ankle deep in the water, lifting to rocks to see what he could find underneath, and I’m always delighted whenever he finds a starfish.

A trip to the beach for a picnic, a stroll along the shore and a paddle in the sea is always one of my favourite ways to spend a sunny day, and always appreciate finding another lovely beach to visit. Have a lovely week. X

Lovely and Grateful

Surviving on coffee and catnaps

Tag: seasons